On Becoming Vegetarian

I have decided to try the Vegetarian lifestyle for one month. This decision is not a direct result of my compassion for tasty livestock. But it is due, in part, because of my health. Now I am the first one to light up a grille and throw thick steaks and succulent burgers onto the pyre of all things delicious. I admit it. But I figure if I wanted to lose a little weight and lower my cholesterol at the same time becoming a Vegetarian just might work. Ok, a month will not accomplish the above goals. But you really can tell if you are cut out for something in that amount of time.

Doing research for this blog entry my searches brought me to different Vegan websites. But what I was looking for were recipes for a meat/meat by-products free lifestyle. While surfing I found out that there are really some hardcore Vegans out there. Some of those people on those sites look as if they would hug a tree until they got splinters. I refuse to be that drastic. I don’t just want to eat fruit and lettuce like a rabbit at every meal either. And I don’t see myself drinking Wheat Grass juice and singing Kumbaya around a camp fire weeping loudly for Mother Earth. Hell No. All I want is a couple of do’s and don’ts for becoming a Vegetarian . It should be simple right?

While reading the Wikipedia entry on Vegetarianism I immediately became confused. There are different types of Vegetarians, imagine that. But it appears that a lot of the non-meat consumption can be broken into subsets and those subsets into further subsets. Some don’t eat meat. Some don’t eat berries. Some will eat only fish. Some will not wear silk or eat honey. These people are crazy. Some will strain their water to keep from drinking the water bugs. Some are making a political stand against the slaughter of delicious animals and their in humane treatment. What in the mother of all diets is going on? All I wanted is a simple answer to a simple question. Well I looked at this site and realized I had my work cut out for me.

Starting a Vegetarian diet is simple but there are meat land mines. Everywhere you turn there are animal proteins enhanced foods including those found in white cane sugar. I have decided however that I will stay away from all known animal proteins. Simply put if it can be bought in the meat section or knowingly contains meat or has dairy or eggs in it I will avoid it at all cost. I know this shot my plans for 4th of July out of the sky but I think it will be for the best. Just look for me I will be the one eating salad, fruit, and nuts at the nearest Bar Be Que.


~Vale~

Get Apple Safari HERE!

As you know I am big fan of Internet technology. And there comes a time where you just have to explore all the new things that are out there. Apple Safari is one of them. It is a stylized web browser from the people that have brought you the Mac, the I-Pod, I-Pod shuffle, I-Phone, and I-Tunes. But the kicker is that this version of Safari is for WINDOWS. It is proclaimed to be better than Mozilla's FireFox. I will continue testing it and keep you up dated. If you would like to test along with me just download it below.

Get Apple Safari Here

~Vale~

10 Sure Fire Ebay Tips

It is no secret that Ebay has become the worlds flea market. If you can dream it then you can buy it on Ebay. But the trick is how to find what you are looking for and get it for the price you want.

1. When looking for your specific item make sure you have done your research FIRST. The seller knows the price so should you.

2. Look at the Sellers rating. This tid-bid of information can save you a whole lot of grief. The lower their score the less likely you will be satisfied with what they are auctioning off.


3. Misspell the name of your item. You would be surprised to know that many people make mistakes....costly mistakes. Then pounce like a tiger.

4. Pay attention to shipping and handling. Sometimes a seller will go incredibly low on their opening bid only to scorch you on the shipping and handling. If it isn't there on the listing send and email and ask.

5. Never ever place the item in your "My Ebay" to be watched. This tells the seller you are interested. Bad move sometimes, even though it is against Ebay Policy, people shill bid.

6. Pay attention to overseas listings. Remember that it takes a long time on overseas shipments. And the shipper will ship as cheap as possible.

7. Hold your feedback until you have received the item you have won. This keeps the seller honest. If is not what they say it is contact the seller and request a refund after all a bad remark hurts. It's called leverage.

8. If it looks too good to be true..it is counterfeit. Look closely at the item you are bidding on. Ask questions and if you have to model numbers. Do your homework.


9. Look at your sellers history of selling items. It will tell you allot about their expertise.

10. Last but not least bid responsibly. Sometimes having that 1970's issue of Mad Magazine is just not worth it.


~Vale~

Vault Energy Drink Commercial

I laugh each time I watch this.Enjoy!



~Vale~

Paris Hilton Goes Back to Jail

I am not indifferent about what happened to Paris Hilton. I am glad she went back to jail and let me tell you why. There has to be one dissenting voice that speaks common sense and that voice happens to belong to the sentencing judge. Seeing Paris crying in handcuffs was a fitting end to what could have been a travesty of justice. She will have to serve 45 days in a jail cell where she will do the time of a probation violator. Then when she is done she can go home to her slice of heaven without having lost a job, a car, or her residence.



~Vale~

Paris Hilton Goes Free

I think America has been done a great injustice. I think there was a collective gasp when Paris Hilton went home after only three days in Jail. I think that every law enforcement officer, police chief, prosecutor, and presiding Judge, in our great United States is grinding their teeth…right about now knowing that money can buy you freedom, especially in California. The mere fact that Paris Hilton is being allowed to serve her sentence under house arrest, because of medical reasons, is an injustice to every person who has suffered and is suffering behind bars with far more serious ailments (remember Paris is going home and not to the hospital). I sat stunned watching CNN as the anorexic princess was brought home to her castle to wear an ankle bracelet and serve out her time. Let’s recap shall we? Paris missed her court date not once, but twice, lied and blamed it on her publisher, cried like a 3 year old because of the sentence given, she showed up to jail early, became ill (supposedly) and then went home after serving three days on a 90 day, reduced to 45 days, reduced to 23 days, to her lap of luxury.

The Californian legal system has a broken cog. I feel this cog was obliterated by the famous, the greedy and the influential. In my opinion celebrities have an access road around the Californian legal system and they know how to exploit it. There is no way is a purple-colored hell that you the average citizens would be able to do what Paris has done. In my home state of Alabama if we were pulled over and the officer found out we had a failure to appear warrant, we would have been arrested, held to our court date, fined, sentenced, and thrown summarily into our local jail.

As a new Paramedic I once responded to a jail where a prisoner was violently ill. He was so sick that if on the outside we would run lights and siren to the hospital. But the jailers were indifferent almost casual about this particular prisoner’s plight. Their exact words were, “He is still not going home.” There response stunned me. But after years of having worked on the streets I know that prisoners have rights but they are still prisoners. They still have to pay their dues. In my opinion Paris was never a prisoner…stay tuned.


~Vale~

Create the Perfect Fictional Character

Have you ever wondered the process behind realistic characters a writer creates? A person you would actually love to meet or would tremble in their very presence? The truth is fictional characters are more than figments of the writer’s juicy imagination. These characters are a compilation of multiple attributes blended together perfectly after trial and error. Do you remember the paper dolls you used to cut out as a kid? Well if not PLAY ALONG! Let this doll represent, a one dimensional character ,the kind of character that seems to weave itself around plot lines while dragging short stories to the rejection pile. This doll has no voice, no stylized presence. It just sits and does nothing. However if we start with some basics our character will seemingly come alive.

The rudimentary attributes, or level one as I call them, any writer should start with are: Gender, age, height, weight, hair color, eye color, race and skin color. However you should realize that race and skin color are two different things. Race is the cultural group that you effectively belong to and skin color defines the strength or lack of melatonin in your skin. One dictates how your character makes choices based on their cultural upbringing, one determines how your character is seen by the reader.

The second level, or the socioeconomic background of your character, is the true heart and essence of your character. The more specific you are the more your character becomes its own person and less of you! You should have at least the top ten second level attributes: Level of education, current income, religious background, Parental background (single parent vs. married), siblings, brood number( single child, middle child or youngest) criminal back ground, sexual orientation, Marriage status, Political affiliation. You could also include things like medical history, drug allergies or phobias but only if they are relevant to your story i.e., a fear of oceans that prevents your character from rescuing a loved one from a rip tide.

The last level or the voice level is something even I have a problem with time to time. It is hard to capture the deep twang of a Texan’s speech when you are used to hearing people from Brooklyn speak. It is also hard to capture the pattern of a person’s speech. Not everyone speaks in complete sentences or whole words. What really helps is to find a quiet spot in a mall or a restaurant (note try not to look so conspicuous it’s that whole homeland security thing) and with a pen and pad write down words and phrases you hear. For instance I constantly hear the phrase, “Do you know what I mean?” being shortened to, “Naah Meeen” or “What is up?” to “Sup.” With this level it is appropriate to add oddities or idiosyncrasies to the way your character speaks. This only adds flavor. Like the person who whistles when they talk or constantly click their teeth. Have fun when building your character who knows you might become the next best thing.

~Vale~

Cyclone Gonu

Now if it wasn't enough that our gas prices were high already here comes

Cyclone Gonu

headed towards oil rich Oman WHAT ARE THE ODDS that our gas will be 5 dollars a gallon by the end of summer?


~VALE~

On Waking Up

Recently a Polish man awoke from a coma that lasted an incredible 19 years. Can you imagine what he is thinking right now? Can you even fathom what is going through his head as he is told about the years he has slept through? The words HDTV, Broadband, Digital, Bird-Flu, Euros, Hackers, PDA’s, Global Warming, insurgents and 9-11 are all thrown at him. So much so it could send him into another coma. It will take about a year to explain to him how Perestroika melted the iron wall and murdered the Soviet Bear. And it will take at least two years for him to catch up with one season of American Idol.

Now imagine if you fell to a coma, on March 19 2003, the day before the war started in Iraq and suddenly awoke today? How would you handle the news that our country, the world’s greatest country, is getting our asses smacked once again, as if Vietnam wasn’t enough? Just think, on that fateful March day, you were full of hope and aspiration for our country and upon waking up today you found out we succeeded in toppling and executing Saddam only to find out why he had to be an evil bastard. You become tragically familiar with words like Abu Ghraib, IED, Al Anbar Province, Sadar City, Mahdi Army, Dragon Skin, Shiite and Sunni. You awoke to find that Hurricane Katrina, in a single curtsy and swish of her bustle, changed the demographics of New Orleans in 2 hours flat. You woke up to find out that our government has turned it's back on legal, taxpaying, citizens in favor of amnesty for illegal workers. That sudden shock, to know that things have taken a turn for the worse, would make you look for a second coma…hell I know I would.

But what happens when you, who have been sleeping, finally woke up in the figurative sense? By waking up I mean the smoke was blown into your rectal vault has dissipated and you are able to make a credible, intelligent, and informed decision based on learned facts. How would you feel? Can you believe that there are people out there that make render any decision unless it is based along political party lines? Can you believe there are people who don’t believe global warming is real even though Florida is on fire or that our first tropical event was named Andrea on May 9th? Well if you are still sleeping and refuse to hear the facts fine. Remember the high price of gas is due in part of terrorist and unpatriotic Americans, not because of your new Hummer. Remember 150,000 troops can strategically run a country of antiquity on sheer firepower without violent retribution. And lastly, remember, it is better to have a cheap, beautiful, landscape than lower taxes, cheaper health insurance, or 700 miles of border fence.


~Vale~

How to Search the Internet

Cyberspace has become as immense as the universe that surrounds our tiny blue planet. So finding exactly what you are looking for can be down right frustrating but this blog entry will teach you how to search the Internet with ease.

First, you need a reliable search engine because if you start with junk you more than likely will end up with junk. I recommend the almighty Google but you can use Yahoo, AfterVote or Alexa if you wish. Second, you need to understand exactly WHAT you are trying to find. There are billions of websites that contain information on just about any subject known to man be as specific as possible. Now we could go into the different types of search questions and methods but that would get boring really fast. Or we can do it the Apocalypse Papers way, which I feel is a gentler more humane method, because it doesn’t waste precious brain cells. Let’s get started.

I could tell you about Boolean searches, string searches algorithms, and keyword searches, but that would bore you to click away. However search like a pro and find exactly what you are looking for in a flash by using concise search terms. Remember the Internet is designed and maintained by really smart people that believe that there is beauty in simplicity and that Star Trek was the most awesome show ever created. So when searching:

Instead of: The actor that appeared on the “Man from Atlantis” (I am showing my age I know)

Try: Cast of Man from Atlantis (no quotes)

Instead of: What is the name of the white cheese dip they serve at Mexican Restaurants?

Try: White cheese dip Mexican Restaurant recipe

If you want a commercial by Ronco then ask by the name of the commercial. If you are looking for a song then ask for the name of the song however if you don’t know the name but know some of the lyrics just type those in the search box (believe me that actually works!) If you are looking to solve certain equations in math, believe it or not, Google has that function. So if you want to surf like a pro you have to think like one. Think brief, think accurate and think simple.


~Vale~

How to Prepare For Any Medical Emergency

There are so many medical experts bouncing around the airwaves that one could get dizzy trying to follow them all. If those experts had their way we would live in a glass bubble until the day we die. However as humans we know that life is about living and living involves risk. So knowing how to prepare for any medical emergency is as simple as being ahead of the curve with the right information. And having the right information can be is the difference between basking at a day spa or cooling at a funeral home.

First things first common sense is free. You own it, so let’s start there. The most involved person in your personal health care should not be your doctor. It should be you! Your doctor performs a physical assessment as a nurse records their findings in your medical records. The way any physician knows how to treat you is by finding out what is wrong first and going from there. The way any other doctor, who has never seen you before, can treat you effectively is by knowing what health issues you have. So the first thing you should do in preparation for a potential heart attack or stroke is write down these critical items:

1. Your Name
2. Your Date of Birth(do you know how many people have your name)
3. Your Doctor's Name
4. Your Doctor's Phone Number(Doctors have the same name also)

If you suddenly became critically ill or better yet you were unable to speak during a sudden illness who could you trust to give accurate medical information about you? If you answered: spouses, a parent, a girlfriend/boyfriend, a co-worker, give yourself 0 points. Only YOU know the most about YOU! And having well meaning E.R Doctor play Russian roulette with your health, while the person you trust freaks completely out is solely your fault. So also written down somewhere in your home you should have:

1. A complete list of current prescription drugs
2. A list of Over the Counter medications
3. Any Herbal Supplements (these interact with some drugs)
4. Pertinent Past Medical History i.e. Strokes, Seizures. HIV
5. Drug and Food Allergies


And you should tell someone well advance where this information is located. If you are traveling you should have a listing in your phone that states ICE on In Case of Emergency. The person on the other end of that number entry should have a copy of your medical information.



So let’s recap. To increase your survivability during medical emergencies you must have pertinent, accurate and current information concerning our health written down somewhere and a rational, trusted person who knows where you placed it. Also when the time does come when you are unable to speak or move during an emergency IT IS TOO LATE. And remember participation in your own health care is just as critical as having health insurance.


~VALE~

Top 10 Reasons You Should Avoid Buffets

But I don’t think my previous post entitled, “Competition Trick Eating” was taken serious so here is my take on the top 10 reasons you should avoid buffets.

1.If you experience shortness of breath while walking from your car to the buffet, the buffet might not be for you.

2.If you experience shortness of breath while walking from your buffet table to the steam tables please reconsider your actions.

3.If you sweat profusely while you eat. Yep, you might want to avoid buffets.

4.If you have Cankles or a Calves and ankles combination. Better known as the “Little Lotta Syndrome” you should avoid buffets.

5.If you think a “salad” looks like with a sprig of lettuce with a whole ham on it, smothered in bacon bits, drowned in copious amounts of Ranch dressing and encrusted with croutons. You might want to avoid buffets.

6.If you ride a Hoveround not because you have arthritis, degenerative joint disease or had a previous stroke, but simply you are to fat to walk you might want to think about rolling away from the buffet door.

7.If you have no neck and snore while you are awake. You guessed it, run away.

8. If you are prescribed medication for any of theses words: Hypercholesterolemia, Type II Diabetes Mellitus, Hypertension, or Cholelithiasis. The buffet is not for you.

9. If you need two tables pushed together for you and a friend or IF you are sitting on two chairs You guessed it.

10. If your face is so fat that your eyes look closed. The buffet is definitely not for you.

Honestly buffets should come with a warning at the door that reads,” The contents of this establishment may cause heart disease or diabetes if taken in excess”


~Vale~

2007 Hurricane Preparedness

During the 2006 Hurricane season the Southeastern U.S held its breath as they watched storm after storm build and disintegrate causing minimal damage comparatively to the 2005 season. (You can see the entire season here on Wikipedia). It was during 2006 Hurricane Season that the people living along the Gulf Coast were the most prepared. Now that the Atlantic Hurricane season is upon us again I felt there are eleven essential tasks you should perform well in advance of being effected by a major storm passing through your area.

1. First things first get on the phone and call your local EMA director. You will need a list of storm shelters in your area. If your EMA Director is busy or seems like they don’t have the time, contact your local Red Cross they should have the listings of certified shelters in your area after all they are the ones that certify shelters in the first place.

2. Next make a copy of all your important documents, i.e. medical records, prescriptions, credit cards, driver’s license, insurance papers and then either MAIL them to a trusted family member or place them in a safe deposit box.

3. You should have a detailed waterproof map of your neighborhood, county and state. You should have at least 3 alternate evacuation routes before storm landfall and three alternate return routes after the storm passes. Now if you want to be really thorough, pen in all the gas stations, storm shelters, fire stations and hospitals on all three routes.

4. Everyone in your evacuating family should have a 3 day bag. This bag should be packed and set aside with only the essentials to evacuate such as: Change of clothes for three days, sanitary items, small hand held games, books, telephone calling card (because cell towers can topple in high wind and cell phones die) and prescription medications, (Hot curlers, Plasma televisions, electric cookware, desk top computers are not essential items as I saw during Katrina.)

5. Purchase a pallet of bottled water.

6. Invest in a generator, a heavy chain, and strong padlock. Now the exhaust from a generator will KILL (notice I said WILL) you and your entire family if used indoors. Make sure your generator is outside of the building while running. Now would be the time to figure out a way to chain it to the ground preventing the generator from being stolen. (Yes there are thieves after storms).

7. Purchase a large cooler with wheels to store large amounts of ice.

8. Invest in a battery operated weather radio(with spare batteries), flash lights (at least two), tea light candles, calumet light sticks, aluminum foil, synthetic rope, matches and for heavens sake Duct Tape at least 4 rolls. Don’t be fooled by purchasing these items through super rescue magazines or so called, “Experts” Your local dollar store has most of these supplies.

9. You should have a 10 gallon gas tank with a strong tight cap and a funnel. (During Hurricane Katrina people were burning themselves by not having a funnel trying to fill their cars and generators)

10. You should stock up on essential canned foods, and military styled meals ready to eat enough for at least three days. This way when you find out the storm is headed your way at least a three day head start on everyone else.

11. If your local EMA, Law Enforcement, Fire and EMS all scream in unison, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE"! DO IT! They possess information you aren’t privy to. Call them on it later if they were wrong. If you decide to stay and “ride out” the storm make sure you have written on a waterproof card in indelible ink your name, date of birth and social security number it. Place this card in your pocket so there will be no problem identifying your body if you become a storm casualty.

After years of rescuing people after horrendous storms and participating in the recovery I felt this was the best way to get the message out.


~Vale~

Website of the Day

AfterVote is an awesomely stylish website with plenty of interactive buttons and any web surfer, worth their salt, loves buttons. I ran across AfterVote while reading an article about it through SEO Chat. And after a couple of random searches I was actually astonished at how simple AfterVote was to use. If you are a writer or a researcher this site is for you, if you like multiple results from the big three (Google, Yahoo, and MSN) this site is for you and if you like being able to block bad results directly from the search page you got it, this site is for you. I entered the name of my blog into AfterVote and this is what I found.





If you noticed this page looks like something out of a spaceship’s control panel with its bright white page and multicolored buttons. But trust me; it is really easy to navigate. If you look to the far left side, of the very first search result, you will find a small box with three icons. To the right of the icons are numbers that indicate at what search request you could find in on each respective major search engine. The Apocalypse Papers is number 6 on Google and number 1 on Yahoo and not even listed on MSN (I just submitted the site). To the right of the small icon box what you would find in a normal search result. However at the bottom of your search results you have the following icon from left to right:

1. Cached Pages on Google, Yahoo, MSN
2. Alex’s Page rank (mine happens to be 15 hey it’s better than 0)
3. Google’s Page Rank
4. Stumble’s Identification of the Website
5. Digg This (the funky looking white blocks)
6. Add to your Del.icio.us Account(if you have an account)
7. Email (They need to tweak this button because it opens in I.E)
8. Google’s “Translate your results” or it takes you to the site with a Google frame.
9. Bugmenot is the button that allows you to see registration names and passwords to keep from registering on certain sites (use with caution).
10. The Archives or Wayback button that will contain archived pages from your requested site.
11. The Green Button can prioritize, positive or bookmark the site.
12. The Red Button can negative vote, block the domain or even block the link from future results. (Neat huh?)

It is not often I run across a site that has such usable features. It is still a new site, so new there aren’t even ads on its search pages! However they need to work on its email feature it should be as simple as the Stumble email feature but hey I will give them time. Congratulations to

AfterVote

as The Apocalypse Papers Website of the Day!


~Vale~

Prince Harry Safe From War

Deep in the bowels of Windsor Castle a decision was made that combat duty in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom was too dangerous for precious Prince Harry. This may come as a shock to the Royal Family but Iraq is a dangerous place for any soldier period. When U.S troops are deployed or reactivated for the ump-teenth time those service men and women, go dutifully, some grumble, some are scared shitless, and some pray for a safe return so they won’t miss the ’08 Presidential election. But the point is they go. Sadly some of our beloved troops won’t return, some will be mangled, and others will have Post Traumatic Stress Disorders for life. But they’re earnest in their efforts to succeed regardless of the debate on faulty intelligence and other meaningless grandstanding by politicians.

Even though he is royalty Prince Harry is no different from any of our young men. For every one soldier killed in the Anbar Province or in the Sunni Triangle, the United States may have lost a potential Senator, Representative or President. I realize Harry is third in line, to the crown, but believe me there is a line of succession that just about includes everyone in Britain and a couple of people in Detroit. So he can be replaced. Harsh you think? That is a sad reality of war. What about Harry becoming an enemy trophy you ask? So what I reply, Al Qaeda has three American soldiers right now. Needless soldiers will die protecting the Prince if he serves in combat you say? I am pretty sure that our troops that died in the recent ambush were protecting each other. Think about it Harry’s entire tour may be needed to prevent other needless wars on behalf of the crown. He will have experienced the horrors of war and thusly will react with prudence and patience when considering military solutions to obvious diplomatic problems in the future. So go ahead Prince Harry go see some combat I promise we wont tell.

~Vale~

Jerry Falwell Quotes

Personally I wanted to blog-punish the person behind such sayings as,

"We visit prisoners on death row, and some of them are saved, but we believe their sentences should be carried out because they have a debt to society"

“Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America”

and a staunch supporter of apartheid but I didn't...NOT that I have respect for dead people. But I would rather have you read the quotes yourself.

Jerry Falwell Quotes

How To Write A Short Story

If you are considering writing then this blog entry is for you. Learning how to write a short story is just as difficult as learning how to ice skate…once you fall down a couple of times you lean how to fall and why you fell. And after having a sore bottom time after time you become a better skater.

Well first things first. There are thousands of literary websites that promote that they are the definite authority on writing. The problem, I found, with these “how to” writing websites is that they are overly technical. And for the inexperienced writer this can be confusing. For all practical purposes there are two things you should have before you even consider putting nimble fingers to keyboard. One is creativity and the second is persistence. Without either one you are going to suck as a writer.

Before you start on a journey into the world of imagination you should brush up on your vocabulary and learn the basic literary terms. Having a strong vocabulary is essential when writing but it really isn’t necessary, WAIT, before you go berserk and banish me to all things baroque. Not everyone is enhanced with an Oxford English Dictionary Unabridged shoved up their bum. You will learn new words when you mature as a writer. And what makes a great writer…an excellent reader of course!

Now when starting a short story I found that writing without stopping works wonders. Don’t worry about missing a comma splice or busting verbs. Just write as fast as you can until your writers voice demands a sip of water. Complete your story before you return to the first sentence to begin the editing process. Once you start over you can hone in on the build of your story. A short story must have a plot. A short story must move the reader along. A short story has a beginning, middle and ending. Breathe life into your main character(s) by doing a character profile on a separate piece of paper. This will make your main character(s) three dimensional and believable. Next place your story in a category (i.e. horror, romance, sci-fi, drama) and remember that it is hard to sell a story that has multiple genres.

Once you have finished your character profile, found out what genre your story will be, then it will be time to edit. Believe me the story you initially wrote won’t look anything like your completed story. When you are satisfied place your story in a box under the bed or hide it for a couple of weeks. This way when you return to it(hopefully with your muse in tow) you will have a fresh set of eyes. Yes that actually works. And with any luck over time you will become published, pretentious and have your face plastered all over bookstores sprinkled through out America.


~Vale~

Paris Hilton is Going to Jail

A 26 year old pseudo-celebrity named Paris Hilton is headed to jail on June 5th because she refused to comply with the conditions of her parole. And what was Paris’s excuse for doing so? Because she didn’t know she couldn’t drive on a suspended license. The statement she made before Judger Sauer sentenced her sounded mildly retarded, "I'm very sorry, and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry, and I did not do it on purpose at all…” Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer listened intently and then gave her 45 days in jail. He made sure he closed every comfortable alternative (electronic monitoring, house arrest, special incarceration or work detail) so Paris could experience the “Simple Life” of forced detention (I couldn’t resist the pun). In jail Paris will temporarily mingle with common folk who aren’t rich like her and are really, really, angry. Her fellow inmates will scoff at her, yell at her and even threaten her with bodily harm and yes she will have to take it. But in my opinion a month and a half in jail will change Paris’s perspective but not her life. Paris needs something more sinister.

Paris Hilton is a living testament to Cesare Beccaria’s sliding scale of justice. To paraphrase Beccaria, “the amount of justice you receive is directly connected to your economic status.” Simply put if the average person was driving around on a suspended license and failed to show up for court ordered classes. They would be arrested on the spot if pulled over. She was not. If the average person gave such a lame assed excuse in front of a Superior Court Judge they would receive extra jail time and they would have never made it out of the court room. Even Paris’s mother has the audacity to be upset at the sentence her daughter received. I think that MAAD should give Kathy Hilton a call or a good beat down.

Paris joins a long list of stars who believe they are immune to the DUI law. If I were a wealthy movie star I would pay someone to drive me around on party nights. That’s what you call being proactive. How many people would jump at the chance to be a designated driver to the stars? And if you must drive drunk do it while playing Playstation’s Grand Turismo after chugging a fifth of Tequila at home with your car keys hidden away.

As a Paramedic I know that drunks have killed and maimed a lot of sober people and that is exactly the point Judge Sauer was making. I will refrain from preaching sermon on the evils of drunk driving. I do however have a site where you can see the pictures of drunk driving accidents. Of course if it were left up to me to mete out a punishment, I wouldn’t opt for jail time. My punishment would be for Paris make pretty those people killed by drunk drivers for one month and then attend their funerals. I am sure Paris would turn into a saint…at least for a little while.

~Vale~

How to Find a Job Overseas

There are some people who prefer the simple comforts of their small city or state. This blog entry is not for them. Today’s entry will teach you (the courageous one) how to find a job overseas. If you ever felt that there was more to life than driving on the right side of the road or even using the same old greenback currency you are not alone. Ok, first things first. You want employment overseas but you don’t know were to start? Let’s look the dangerous places you should bypass first. The State Department puts out a travel warning list, probably based on faulty intelligence…but erring on the side of safety make sure you read their list carefully. Well actually erring on the safest side, use Robert Young Pelton’s site "Come Back Alive" for in my opinion he has the most accurate information.

Surfing through the internet for this Monday’s entry, I realized there are thousands upon thousands of web pages on living and working abroad. I focused on frequently updated sites and forums that would yield the most accurate information. One of the most comprehensive sites on today's entry was from a gentleman named of John Adams. He chronicled all the pitfalls problems you could face from working abroad and in chapter 13 he even gives you a host of resources. Be sure to spend a little time looking around on his site.

Now there are a few things you should know about finding employment overseas. Before you can leave you should really have a U.S. Passport (No really). You should spend some time on the expatriate forums asking questions and interacting with people actually living abroad. Avoid all sites that asks for payment in exchange for information about overseas employment. There are rip offs everywhere for those who are impatient (do not be impatient). And remember if it looks to good to be true…it probably is. Also in some countries Americans are ahead of the education curve and will receive more for their skills. And in other countries you are behind the curve being almost reduced to servitude. The best thing is to look around and not be fooled.


~Vale~

Immigration Reform

Passing a practical and pertinent Immigration Reform Law will be like a two-year old girl trying to fly a jumbo jet. The flight itself can be accomplished …but that landing is going to be a doozey. I have noticed that the ultra-patriots and neo-conservatives like Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage and Sean Hannity all agree that something has to be done about Illegals saturating their country (I don’t live in their country I live in America). This Motley crew spews purulent rhetoric across the AM airwaves, as if no one was listening, and not really addressing the true problem of wage side economics.

Mexican immigrants are looking for a better life in our prosperous nation. So much so they are braving the Mexican desert, INS and members of the Minuteman Project in droves. However that better life should include going through the right channels, payment of their fair share of taxes and monetary participation into our social programs. Because I personally feel the pinch each time I receive a paycheck. A majority of Hispanic workers are working off the record (tax free) for mere pennies on the dollar. And paying low wages to a person who can be deported if they complain is like dream come true for the farmers who use them. It is a dream come true for the homebuilders and it is a dream come true for unscrupulous factory owners. Now there are advocacy websites such as this one that try to dispel the myths of the immigrant’s impact on the American economy. But it is hard to dispel something if these facts are present. Low wage industries are really the true problem and there are less of these owners than there are Hispanic Immigrants.

Attacking non compliant businesses without compassion or mercy would quickly turn the tide of Illegals. The problem lies with industry needs of cheap labor. If our government punished business owners that violated the reform by making them pay back wages and taxes for each individual that was undocumented. There would be no influx. If hospitals billed business owners directly for treatment of undocumented workers and their family members, business owners wouldn’t have to think twice. If apartment complexes were required to pay an elevated tax on each unit that was rented to undocumented tenets, there would be an exodus of sorts all around the country. Then our country could start over issuing visas and temporary work permits. I didn’t say punish the people who are looking for a better life, I say punish the people who already have a better life and are greedy. I know there are some of you that say, “It is not that simple” and I say, “It truly is” because it is harder to fight a colony of bees than it is the beekeeper.


~Vale~

D.C Madame

The news never ceases to amaze me. In the halls of justice there lurked the pimp to the politicians. If you look at Deborah Jeane Palfrey A.K.A “D.C Madame” you would see an unassuming middle-aged woman with dark chestnut hair, round school teacher glasses and a soft daring smile. Her intelligence however is what really shines through. NOTE: I am in no way envious of this woman’s predicament of having her houses seized by the government along with her bank account. I am however getting my popcorn and soda ready for the day ABC finds out the names of her clients through telephone records. Let’s see how much money she gets for her legal defense. I am sure this move was well thought out….if Miz Jeane doesn’t get whacked first. Enjoy the video below.









~Vale~

How to Find the Right Ambulance Service

Some ambulance companies are businesses just like McDonalds and Target stores others are tax based (municipal) or volunteer. With that being said this blog entry will teach you how to find the right commercial ambulance service for your medical transport needs.

First there is a difference between emergency transport and non-emergency transport. Emergency transport is simply defined the usage of an ambulance in cases where life or limb is being threatened. Non emergency transport is simply where life or limb isn’t threatened. Regardless if you have a toothache, a hemorrhoid, or a sore throat these ailments are classified as non-emergency, some ambulance companies won’t even bother billing your insurance they will just bill you directly.

Secondly if you need to go to a scheduled doctor’s appointment or you need to transport a loved one from one facility to another, you should call at least two weeks in advance. In this two week period you can either get approval or disapproval for your appointment. If you get declined ask for the cash price. And if there is more than one ambulance service in your area (or within 30 miles) you should call all of them. The lowest bidder wins.

Lastly, remember you get what you pay for. Some smaller companies offer the best price but the worse service and some larger companies will treat you like a number. It is best you do your homework. Calling local doctor’s offices, dialysis centers or ever emergency rooms to find out what service they recommend isn’t illegal. Having worked on an ambulance for 20 years I have heard my fair share of, “That other company sucked” or my favorite, “I should have called you guys first.” So look around and if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments section. I will respond.


~Vale~

Operation Iraqi Freedom

I have not been asleep for the past 4 years. I have watching from the sidelines and silent complainer of events during Operation Iraqi Freedom. However there are Republican politicians who chose to treat the American public preschool children. I think not! When we (guilt by association) first pointed our war finger towards Iraq, when our target was clearly a man named Osama bin Laden (who admitted to his direct involvement in September 11th) I knew someone was not manning the helm correctly. When Saddam said he had no weapons of mass destruction and allowed UN inspectors to try and find them (back when his streets did not have IED’s) I knew that somebody dropped the glass ball. And when the four contractors were killed, mutilated, burned and strung from the Euphrates River Bridge, I knew those deaths were the start of something ominous.

The entire political shift from a Republican to Democratic controlled House and Senate was due entirely to a loss of faith in the Republicans Party mainly because of Operation Iraqi Freedom. In my opinion there is no other significant achievement that could have stopped their loss. It is this lack of Republican control that will bring our sons, daughters, wives, and husbands back home. I often catch glimpses of Republicans grandstanding and proselytizing on their shaky positions as to why we should stay in Iraq and I wonder how much marijuana do you have to smoke to ignore the obvious. Vice President Dick Cheney was even personally angered at the, “defeatist attitude” of the Democrats.

In the Republican’s myopic point of view, any act of opposition (verbal or written) to the continued death and dismemberment of our young and middle aged troops makes you a terrorist. My question is, “What makes me an American?”

Is it un-American to want to stop the IED’s from generating military funerals? Is it un-American to want our troops back home mentally sound? Is it un-American to disagree with changing war plans, troop increases and deployment extensions? Or Is it un-American to set a date for withdrawal from a useless operation? Staying the course is making matters worse. And in my opinion Iran is waiting to cross the border en masse to assist their neighbors in getting back on track…once we leave. Let them. We can chalk Operation Iraqi Freedom up to, “Things we should have not done” right next to New Coke, Yugo cars and Vietnam. Hey lets face it every country needs a McDonald’s. And I understand the relevance of creating a peaceful environment so that Democracy can flourish. Unfortunately to create this peace will take about a million troops, a really scary man with a black heart and stone face, and about ten years of unabashed violence on our part. And that is just not our style of governing. It is time to let it go.


I welcome your feedback.

~Vale~

How To Start Your Own Business

Starting your own business can be as simple as brushing your own teeth or as frightening as stepping off of a cliff into the unknown. How to start your own business is not as important as to why you are starting one in the first place. If you are starting one to keep up with the Joneses prepare to fall on your face. If you want financial independence or just a little extra income you might just make it.


Making the wrong choice in choosing a business to start is expensive. Finding a business niche is one of the places where you should spend a lot of your intellectual time and energy. Entrepreneur Magazine gives you a host of business options to choose from. Some of their options can be a little pricey. But it is left up to you to look around. I have found that what you know about the most is what you know about the best.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
-- Confucius

Now before you get disgruntled because you think it takes hundreds of thousands or millions to start a business remember it takes more determination that it does cash to start a business. Our country has the best business incubator in the world known as the Small Business Administration and best of all it is free. The SBA has an online resource guide for small business owners that tells you how to start your business from A to Z. Here is also the link to the Alabama Business Resource. Also there are small business mentors like Score willing to assist you if you have questions.

Once you are armed with the information and planning phase then it is time to start with your business identity. Your business identity is simply: your name and mission statement, what products you sell or services you perform, who you are as a business, and your tax structure under the watchful eye of the IRS. You can control your cost by bidding out your design work through Elance where thousands of companies bid on your business needs or through online companies like Vista Printing that offers free or discounted business supplies. Controlling your cost is essential to the survival to any business.

If you are looking for something to sell, EBay has a wholesale market. There are also independent liquidation companies that have plenty to offer. Have you ever wondered were stores like Dollar General and Family Dollar got their supplies click here? If you are thinking about international trade Alibaba has a great site where you can solicit bids from all around the world. Here is a link for finding international trade law. There is no limit to what you can sell or supplies you can find to make your business a dream. The first step is yours.

~Vale~

Video of John Edwards 400 Dollar Haircut

Personally... I see a Presidential Candidate trying to make sure he is presentable in the public eye.However the conservatives will ride this video into the ground just like they did...


~Vale~

Virginia Tech Massacre

I hovered patiently until the Blog universe’s chatter about Virginia Tech had slowed until I gave my own take of what happened during the Virginia Tech massacre. I understand that the Virginia Tech assassin was a disillusioned South Korean English major by the name of Cho Seung-Hui. He is described by the people that knew of him as “strange” and “depressed.” Being strange and depressed describes a lot of American college students. According to CNN he spent time in a mental institute for being suicidal in 2005. He is described by some of his teachers as being mean as well as weird by old college roommates.

Being in public safety for over 20 years I have seen a lot of homicides. I understand the difference between blind rage and methodically attacking your victim. Lovers kill in blind, passionate rage, Serial Killers are methodical. Get the picture? This young man studied his targets, probed and then executed 34 students and faculty with prudence and when he made his point he committed suicide. I am in no way glorifying his brutal actions. I am offering a rational view, my view, of what happened. I feel a true deep sadness for all those kids killed because one young man was sad.

On April 15, 2007 Cho was one of a thousand other disillusioned young people headed to Prozac lane. On April 16, 2007 he took a detour and became a monster. Now the media wants to point a finger at the staff of Virginia Tech for not being able to see through Cho’s angst and stop him before he killed. What they don’t realize there is no crystal ball. There wasn’t one for Columbine, Nickel Mines or Red Lake. And we have learned from those school tragedies placing the blame does not raise the dead. Placing the blame only kills careers.

Virginia Tech as well as the local Law Enforcement did one of the most fantastic jobs in keeping its students alive. I bet you a dollar to a huge bucket of doughnuts their survival plan was not written down. There wasn't a “In Case of Angry Asian Guy Attack Plan.” I applaud the faculty for what they did as well as the students who survived to help others. And I hope from this incident there is not a knee jerk response to arm our college students or ostracize those people whom we deem unfit.


~Vale~

How to Change Internet Browsers

If you have been using a computer for any length of time you must realize that there are pop-ups, viruses, spyware, malware and a host of mutant toolbars waiting to infect your machine in cyberspace. Internet Explorer however has a perpetual flaw that allows these wayward items to exploit your computer. (Not due to poor design but time in service) However during this blog entry I will show you how to change internet browsers in a flash and offer you some suggestions on which ones to try. The most popular browser on the net besides I.E is the one I currently use is Mozilla Firefox.

Mozilla Firefox is an open source program that allows you the user to customize the browser for your usage and best of all it is free. This browser comes with a pop up blocker, about forty different themes or skins to change the look of your browser as well as a host of utilities that allows you trick out your browser. The first thing you have to do is download the browser package and then install it. After you install Firefox it will ask you do you want to make Firefox your default browser check “Yes.” It is just that simple.

Opera is also a free web browser that is not as interactive as Mozilla Firefox but better than Microsoft’s Internet Explorer. It is of straight forward design with it tabbed browsing, pop-up blocker, zoom detail for tiny characters on websites and it can be skinned like Firefox. However Opera is limited to what utilities, if any, can be added to its browser and it free just like Firefox. Its download and installation process is just as simple as following the prompts and BAM you are up and running.

There are a host of free web browsers out there but Firefox and Opera are the two main ones The Apocalypse Papers recommends on its “How to” Monday. If you have any suggestions or comments about a free web browser please don’t hesitate to leave it in the comments section of this blog entry. And please don’t forget to subscribe to The Apocalypse Papers.


~Vale~

Rutgers Women's Basketball Team

After a “slip” of the tongue the news network summarily beheaded Don Imus’s television career. Imus hadn’t a chance in hell in reversing what he said about the Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team or apologizing to the public by taking a verbal asswhooping from Al Sharpton. Don Imus’s on air racist remark was not an isolated event. It was the last remark in a long line of sexist, homophobic and racist remarks that cost him his job.

Rutgers University has a long history of proud alums with James Gandolfini AKA “Tony Soprano” (B.A. 1983) being one of them. Regardless of the team’s racial makeup and the condition of their hair they are prospering students. Rutgers takes pride in their Scarlet Knights event thought they lost to Tennessee. These young women have their futures ahead of them and deserved better treatment that what was given by Don Imus. It is obvious that MSNBC and CBS thought so also.

With things that are so screwy going on in the world right now I am pleased to see a swift response to a serious problem that was not wishy-washy. Now if we could do something about the N-word in rap music things would be a whole lot better for my kids.


~Vale~

Larry Birkhead

I am pleased that the mystery of Dannielynn’s actual father has been solved with the help of high tech DNA testing just like a Scooby mystery. There was a CNN breaking news alert when the results were announced. A big red bar was splashed across the CNN website as if Osama himself walked into a Hardees restaurant. Personally I am glad to see this mess over with. There are other pressing world issues at hand I’m sorry. I caught a glimpse of Mr. Larry Birkhead with his arms extended obviously happy that he was the father. I quickly turned the channel opting for a paid advertisement for the Ab Lounger.

Frankly one of the first things Mr. Larry Birkhead should do after all of these proceedings is to get tested for HIV and any other STD that might be out there. Because at last count there were four potential fathers that means four unprotected partners and so forth and so on. But I am sure that is of no concern of his because if you look at the picture you notice his arms are up in exaltation not as if he has custody of a motherless child nay, but the fact Mr. Birkhead hit the proverbial jackpot.



~VALE~

How to Find a Free Virus Scanner

If you are like me you spend a lot of time on the internet and as we all know the internet is full of viral land mines. These viruses can either be a real nuisance or do major damage to your files. This blog entry will show you how to find a free virus scanner.

There are two types of free virus scanners available on the internet. The first is an online scanner. This type of scanner will enable you to scan your computer from its website. However the drawback is if you have a slow connection or heavens forbid a dial up connection this online scanner is not for you. This is a great option if you think you have a virus and your current virus scanner is not picking it up. (Just remember to disable your active virus scanner when choosing to scan online) Whenever I am repairing computers and need a good online scanner I typically use Pandasoft or Kaspersky. However you can run across other online virus scan sites but beware these sites can sometimes scan your computer and the charge you to remove the viruses. Don’t fall for those.

The second type of scanner is a free home licensing scanner. That means you don’t not have to buy this scanner just download and install. In my opinion the two best free scanners in the industry is Grisoft’s AVG Scanner and Avast’s free download version. I like AVG because it updates smoothly and constantly scans your computer. I like Avast because it does the same thing as AVG but it has a siren and a visual warning bar that will pop up you if your computer gets a virus. These scanners typically have a trial period then you have to send them an email to get the unlock key. But hey it is better than paying. If you are like me you like anything free that works. So every Monday I will be posting a “How To…” blog entry that will spotlight free things on the internet. And don’t forget to subscribe to The Apocalypse Papers rss feed. Thanks.


~Vale~

Alabama Legislature "Goat Hill Seven"

I never thought I would see the day when a politician or in Alabama’s case, seven politicians would refuse the one motivating factor of their office…money. All seven of them are Republican and somehow decided that this pay raise was not in line with what was best for the Alabama people. Mind you this action did not come as a pre-election stunt to get more voters especially with the next election being held in 2010. I feel this move was genuine and a true measure of what politicians should be like. As I said in one of my previous blog entries,there are so many full time state employees that could benefit from raises it is almost a slap in the face to ignore them. These seven choose not to ignore them or the people they serve.


Senators Ben Brooks (R - Mobile), Del Marsh (R - Anniston), Harri Anne Smith (R - Slocomb), and Rep. Paul DeMarco (R - Homewood) Senators Bradley Byrne (R - Fairhope), Hank Erwin (R -Montevallo), and Larry Dixon (R - Montgomery)


Let me clarify something, I am not against a fair and equitable raise for our legislators. I believe our lawmakers and community spokespersons should be able to vote in comfort, eat, and resided in decent surrounding while doing work for us, the people. I believe they should be well dressed (not Armani suits or Dolomite shoes) because of their need to interact with the media as well as public. However I am against a raise that is so far out in left field that is almost laughable …a 61 percent raise of laughability. These seven thought it was laughable also that is why they filed the required paperwork refusing the raise and continued on their merry way.

Being a staunch independent (because no single party has all the right stuff) I applaud these lawmakers. I am saddened by the fact that not one Dem mingles among them or even decided to donate part of their ill gotten salary to charitable organizations (even as silly as that seems). I will be watching as one by one (hopefully) as lawmaker after lawmaker begrudgingly files those papers to keep their same salary. Then when it is all said and done those communities represented by the greedy will know who to exactly vote out of office.


~Vale~


P.S This is my 50th post…

YAY ME!

13 Days of Captivity Ends Nicely

Diplomacy and “old timey” politics work. President Ahmadinejad in an act of “kindness” released the 15 captives, unharmed, un-beheaded, un-molested back into the arms of the British people. He asked on behalf of his captives that they NOT be punished for their statements made during their captivity. He also was critical of the fact that a mother (Turney) was sent to the Gulf in service of the Queen. He asked in Farsi, “…Why don’t they respect family values in the west?” He is also stated as returning the captives as a gift in celebration of Muhammad’s birthday (March 30) and the passing and resurrection of Christ (Easter April 8th). Read entire Yahoo article HERE

Now with all respect to the President of Iran I can truly say someone has to be the bigger man. Ahmadinejad had the right to put his captives on trial; he had the right to execute them one by one to the uproar of the entire world. But he did not exercise his right. He used his Presidential powers and with the flair of a master politician swayed the entire British nation to his side. He did not have to impress America all he had to do was impress America’s allies and create a doubt (however small) about our mission in the Middle East and who the Iranians are as a people.

The funny side to this entire crisis that there are Iranian bloggers who say this move is typical of Iranian politics. As well as American bloggers who wanted to open a nice frosty can of whoop ass on the Iranian people for actions against British people. I made it clear in my previous blog entry there is no room for a conventional war across the Iranian border. Our military is stretched so thin that diplomacy is the only option for any other crisis that may occur. Even British Prime Minister Tony Blair says he has no ill will towards Iran. President Ahmadinejad’s move to release his captives was a transparent one however I say “old timey” back slapping, glad handing and back room politics is a hellava lot better than servicemen with missing legs and grave markers.


~VALE~

Coming Full Circle

Diplomacy isn’t dead. It is hidden under the folds of sheer aggression and testosterone. Learning to listen is just as important as understanding WHAT is being said. Looking at the Iranian Hostage Crisis (version 2.0) it is obvious that the Iranians want something in return for the British Marines. This is a trying and sensitive time for both sides. But it is at this meeting table I am pleased there are Brits and Iranians. Because I am sure my beloved America would have not negotiated (at least not publicly). We would have simply let our soldiers be slaughtered then requested more funds for the war effort. And honestly there is no way in a purple-colored hell we could fight Iran.

This scenario has played out before in the Carter and Regan years. Sadly I am old enough to remember our own hostage crisis (version 1.0). The captives were paraded around blindfolded as anti-American chants filled the air. President Carter always looked stressed as he answered question after question daily pertaining to the hostages. Looking back, it was almost if his sole term practically consisted of dealing with Iranian hostage takers. I remember in elementary school I had to write a report on this event and wondered why people had to be so mean (Ah, to be naïve again).

Well gentle reader you know the rest of our hostage story: the hostages were released on the first night of Presidents Regan’s watch, Iran-Contra, Oliver North, yada, yada, yada. Well at least we did have a proverbial “Ace” in the hole. At the same time Iranian students and followers of the new Islamic regime had hostages there was a war going on. It was during this war our friend and ally was provided with the best technology America could create, just so we didn’t have to get our hands dirty, a sort of payback if you will. If you couldn’t figure it our friend was Saddam Hussein and our ally was Iraq. Now that we are out of the loop we have to sit back and watch to see what happens next.


~Vale~

Here's My Cape

After 20 years of service on an Ambulance I have finally decided that enough was enough. There was no fanfare when I made that decision; there were no tears, just unmitigated disgust. The sole basis for this disgust is that I should have done it sooner. I am only angry at myself. I truly love health care and the awesome people you meet along the way. It is just that EMS is an industry that has not evolved far enough to keep from loosing its people. Simply put, EMS eats it young.

I love to hear people say, “you are doing a wonderful job” in my opinion it equates out to the same as, “I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.” Let’s face it, EMS is the combination of three careers, Fire, Nursing and Funeral service. To this day we still perform all three duties by working 24 hours like Firefighters, giving medications like Nurses and recovering body parts like Morticians. But we all paid way less hourly than any of those three. However the demand for Paramedics today is so high in Alabama that street level Paramedics are making upwards of 60,000 dollars or more a year. (The reason being that there are more people leaving the field than there are graduating.) WAIT, before you quit your job and head to EMS school there are some things I should let you in on:

1. 24 hours without proper sleep can lead to Ambulance crashes.
2. 100 hours of overtime in two weeks means you have no life.
3. Divorce is mandatory.
4. What holidays?
5. People who wreck their cars sometimes have HIV.
6. Apathy is your sidekick.
7. Nightmares are free of charge.
8. Bad knees and lower back strains are also free
9. Other Allied medical personnel couldn’t do your job but they
make more than you.
10. There are no bag pipes when you die and there is no benevolent
fund either.

My career has not been all that bad I have met a lot of people, saintly as well as demonic. I have seen what the power of community can do, as well as what happens when no one cares. I have held the hand of the dying and joked with the depressed. I have felt the pain of loss by losing fellow Medics to heart attacks and strokes. (As well as overdoses and gunshot wounds to the head.) Believe me this is not the ranting of a clinically burned out medic… because there is no such diagnosis. I will leave the lights and sirens to the few Paramedics exiting school as I study to be a nurse. Why a nurse you ask? Because hospitals don’t flip on wet roads, blow tires or force you to go to blows with a homicidal patient.

~VALE~

American Apocalypse

I went to a small coastal town on the west side of New Orleans yesterday. The 5 hour drive from Montgomery Alabama was awesome. I listened to NPR on different affiliate station as I maneuvered my way along the Gulf Coast from I-65 south to I-10 West crossing the Pearl River into Louisiana and then to I-12 West towards my destination. The roads were fairly clear and patrolled heavily by troopers. I only hit light congestion outside of Slidell. After finding my destination and completing my task (Ok, a job interview) I figured that a quick stop off in New Orleans for a couple of hot Beignets and a cup of coffee complete with chicory would be great. I would not get either.

I went on my honeymoon in the Big Easy in 1994. New Orleans was vibrant and multicultural with its French décor, wrought iron fences and people with their thick Cajun accents. The smell of boiled crawfish and Creole spice was everywhere. The sound of Jazz filled the humid autumn air as my new wife and I walked down Canal Street making a right on Bourbon Street. We were both transfixed by this wonderful city. There were sidewalk cafés with chalkboards filled with the day’s special in colorful chalk. Their alfresco tables were adorned with white linen tablecloths, silverware and napkins as waiters weaved their way between customers filling empty water glasses. I fell in love with this place called New Orleans. However I would only visit it one other time and that was yesterday.

On my way into New Orleans I couldn’t help notice street after street of boarded up buildings, destroyed homes, and my personal complete sense of loss. There were buildings with marks that showed where the water level was after the levees broke. There were large trucks hauling debris up and down the roadways. There was a military presence. Listening to the radio (between the conciliatory ads from Allstate Insurance Company and the numerous calls for volunteers for the recovery effort) I realized that New Orleans was now the murder capital of the U.S. That fact alone did not scare me. The fact that rats were everywhere did not scare me. The fact that this disastrous event that scattered a population of people, deluged a city by a Biblical flood and showed that we were not ready and could never be ready for something on the scale of Hurricane Katrina…scared me senseless. (There are no pictures that could actually show the complete destruction or recovery, be mindful this is almost two years later) Once I got my eyeful of sadness and with my belly growling I exited the city and headed back to Montgomery Alabama.

~Vale~

Alabama Legislative Pay Raise

Alabama Legislators felt they deserved a 62 percent increase in pay and incentives, so they voted it in. Be mindful that this increase is retroactive to the day they were elected in November 2006. So these state lawmakers will be receiving hefty paychecks for their part-time work. Am I angered by this? Am I incensed that these part-time elected individuals are using the system to their benefit? Well I am as mad as any Alabama tax payer should be. But the kicker is, if you think those dissenting voices will refuse their raises in protest…you have another thing coming. However my question is where is the money coming from for their raises?

I cannot see what is so hard about being a legislator. They are in antique surroundings. They have heat and air-conditioning. They do not have to break rocks, cut grass or wash windows. They are not in danger of armed 13 year old drug dealers or bi-polar football players. They don’t have to operate asphalt machinery in the direct Alabama sun. They do not have to deal with felons, repeat offenders or shoot outs. All they have to do is meet, vote, discuss meeting to vote and eat lunch. Is this elected job really deserving of 50 thousand dollars a year? (The key word being elected)

I heard a Senator or Representative say on WSFA that this increase was so the average man could survive if he became an Alabama State Legislator…hot hogwash. In my opinion an average non-political person could not run for the statehouse because campaigns are extremely expensive. We are talking at least a couple hundred thousand to a million dollars for a 50 thousand a year job and you might not get elected. This job is not meant for the working man and woman. Let’s face it we have been duped again.

~VALE~

Man Dogs

Walking in Montgomery’s Shakespeare
Park I noticed dog owners taking advantage of the same beautiful weather as I. There were large short hairs, small short hairs, tiny long hairs and dogs that didn’t walk but were carried. But what actually caught my attention was a man slowly turning in circles on the side of the paved walk way. As I cautiously approached I noticed he was holding a tiny leash. And as I drew nearer I realized there was what resembled a dog on the end of that leash. This thing was so small it disappeared into the uncut clover! If I had on gloves I would have removed one walked right up to him and smacked him on both of his cheeks!

What has become of man’s best friend? Where did dogs like Old Yeller, Lassie and the Saint Bernard with the small barrel of rum under his chin go? What ever happened to the junk yard dog or the dog that could out run you on your bicycle? I remember as a kid that dogs had jobs. They rode on the back of pickup trucks to protect your tools and your beer cooler. They played fetch. (Try playing fetch with a tea cup poodle). They might have slept indoors but not in your bed. They went fishing with you. They went hunting with you and occasionally peed on a tire that you owned, so he owned it too. Man dogs used to be really, really big dogs. Now big dogs are out of style.

In my opinion an itsy-bitsy dog is just another bill. It cannot protect your home. It cannot warn you in case of a fire. It could not stop an intruder or even scare one. (Actually I have been to a homicide where the owner’s tiny dog was still alive). What in the world would a person, especially a man; want with a dog so small it could hide in a shoe? A dog so little you have to carry it and worry about it being stolen. Why not get a goldfish? I would not possess something that would allow my family to be robbed or hurt and then still wants to be fed. No sir. I want a dog like a Japanese Tosa. This hundred-plus-pounds of man dog can bark and instantly the whole block knows who’s king. This dog is so big that it would be feeding on an intruder when you got home. Just like real dogs are supposed to.

~Vale~

United Bandits Association Local 771

What in the name of all things holy did a New York mugger prove in robbing a 101 year old woman? She was pushed, shoved, man handled and then knocked to the floor. And the sad part was that she walks with a walker. Did he realize if he is ever caught, every self respecting convict will be after perverted liberties with him, just to prove a point? (Prisoners do have code of ethics, go figure) This person has truly lost man points. Mugging this hyper elderly person who had no visible means of protecting herself ( even if she was standing in a gun store) was the same as knocking out a two year old, then professing your strength as a boxer. Come on.

This had to be some one who did not want a challenge for his ill gotten gains of 33 dollars. This mugger has to be the laughing stock of the entire prison industrial complex in America. Can’t you just imagine the conversations that are going on in local jails and prisons? If he is ever caught he will be considered a “trophy” for the arresting office and a prison “trophy” (as in Big Bubba’s possession). Need I explain more?

If he really wanted to be considered a criminal of the highest order he should have robbed one of New York’s infamous Piru or Skyline Blood gang members with a fake pistol and then bragged about it. That robbery would have not been a media event; he would have gained street credibility all through New York, if he wasn’t murdered in retaliation first. But the point is, being a thief, especially a Lilly-livered thief, who made his escape on a bicycle after robbing a centenarian has to be in my book lower a man who wears pantyhose because he likes the way they feel.

~VALE~

Dangerous Dad

I saw a video that actually sent chills down my spine. The video showed a clip of two teenagers giving pot to a 2 YEAR OLD and a 5 YEAR OLD. These small children knew how to hold the joint. It was apparent they had done it before. This scene disturbed me to the point I had to take a couple of 800mg Motrin. If that had been my own 4 year old with his pudgy little lips wrapped around that joint, there would not have been enough police at the hostage situation I would have caused. The headlines would have read, “Distraught Dad Detains Duo.” In my opinion there are some things you just have to be willing to go to jail over, and I think the safety of your own children is one of them.

I have seen so many tragic, vile and despicable things done to children as a Paramedic. This video should have not bothered me…but it did. Children are voiceless victims who are at the mercy of their villains, they cannot protect themselves. I have seen them physically abused, sexually abused, mentally abused and often murdered. And this video is one example of irresponsibility on the part of the teenagers and definitely the parent(s). Our children are assets pure and simple and they should be treated as such. Being a parent myself I know this makes me bias, but who cares this is my blog. These young men are apparently irresponsible to point where a couple of years in prison should be mandatory. And I would be willing to drive them there myself.


These two kids are now in protective services (thank God) but now mom wants them back. Ok, first let me take a deep breath. Mom had to have noticed the pot odor on her kids. That is the first thing a parent does after being away from them all day is get close enough to touch and then SMELL their children. It’s automatic. You can tell if something is wrong when you are that close, if they have a fever, or if they have been in something they shouldn’t have been, i.e, perfume, medication, or cake. Moms are notorious for doing this. Dads are not as quick to do it but they still do it. I know I do. I think these kids should remain in protective custody until those teenagers have been sentenced.


~VALE~