Wednesday, May 28, 2008

2008 Atlantic Hurricanes Names List

There are two days left until the start of the 2008 Atlantic Hurricane Season. I shutter, literally shutter, to think what the price of gas is going to be when the first inkling of a storm is birthed off the west coast of Africa or the tip of the Yucatan. If I had the extra cash I would invest in oil myself. So here is the list of names below. And for my Gulf Coast readers…get ready. The free photo above is from a great site named Free Artistic Photos, please give them a visit.



Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Five Reasons McCain Cannot Win

A political strategist I am not. Politics to me is one of the most necessary evils on the face of the planet and I prefer not to be a part of evil. However the climate for necessary political change is in the air. Because with political change comes civil and military change. And change is so desperately what America needs right now. If you are not agreeing with me at this very moment, the rest of this blog entry is not for you. We complain incessantly about the price of energy, which has garnered more media frontage than the war in Iraq by the way, we complain about the price of food, and we complain about our ability to remain healthy but we have not made any strides to change any of the aforementioned. This is where politics come in. That manipulative art form that lulls voters into a false sense of reality and then BANG hits them with the truth but sadly McCain just won’t belly up to the truth.

5. 100 years in Iraq. When the U.S Army is enlisting soldiers so old that they should be at home playing with their grandkids something is amiss. There are already soldiers doing their 5th tours in-country as we speak. This Iraq war has become a virtual stalemate and the Senator needs to realize that. In order to keep fighting the bad fight, America would need more boots on the ground. And after exhausting our military supply of fresh young bodies, who do you send to fight next, third graders? The only plausible answer is the draft. And the word draft would send young rich kids scrambling across the border to Canada.

4. It’s about the economy. That all powerful money-driven beast that keeps our country afloat and McCain said he knew less about the economy than he did about the military. All this and we are in a RECESSION! Effective leadership has to be a jack of all trades, but has to have to common sense to hire the masters.

3. The need for a strong, friendly, foreign policy. Well, well, you can’t fight everyone who is in opposition of your opinion. We cannot attack Canada because they are first in North America, nor can we attack Australia because Great White Sharks live there. Think diplomacy first, warfare last.

2. Generation Gap. We are a YouTube generation, wireless, broadband, laptop generation. The President should understand popular culture because millions of his voters arise from this pool. I understand that LBJ was a good President so was JFK, but can you believe most voters could not tell you what those previous acronyms are about or what each of those men actually stood for.

1. Gas Prices. At this time of this blog posting it is 135.00 per barrel. That translates to, F*%KING HIGH at the pumps and the reason why there is corn planted all through the Deep South. If there is not a credible solution to our gas crisis besides drilling in the Alaskan wilderness then there is no reason to run for office. We are a country that lives on our gas tanks. Any assault on our fuel price should be considered a terrorist threat. Thus I approve of attacking the OPEC cartel.


Monday, May 26, 2008

Support Your Local Paramedic

I always say, being pissed off is better than being pissed on. And boy, am I pissed off. I hate sounding whiney and I really don’t like to complain. Because I have a solemn belief that if you are comfortable with misery you are destined to make it to the top (that aforementioned belief made me manager at 6 different ambulance services and Vice-President at a seventh.) But something has to be said about the Paramedic exodus that is taking place right under the noses of the general public. This exodus places the public at an extreme risk because who is going to arrive at your home when you have your first heart attack.

I don’t like talking about my job as a Paramedic (capital P). I respect the ability of the 911 caller to remain stupid forever and ever amen. I have seen my fair share of tragedy, pain, suffering, and the evilness of humans to kill their children and set the house on fire to cover the crime. My walkabout through this invigorating and personality consuming job has stratified my soul and sharpened my temperament. My career at one time reinforced a belief that God did not exist and that the Devil was on a road trip, high on Columbian white-flake, smashing and grabbing souls across this great land. But my point of view has changed for the better.

However I digress, the reason I am pissed off is that the major responsibility of reducing morbidity and mortality, under extreme duress and insane hours are heaped upon the EMT and no one, and I do mean no one, cares…hence my pissy-tude. I have survived 20 years in the field, one divorce, one major job-induced surgery, and a war. And the most ambulance services will only pay me, is a measly 12.00 dollars per hour. 10 million dollars worth of experience…12.00 dollars per hour, nationally recognized EMS instructor…12.00 dollars per hour, 14 years of EMS management…12.00 dollars an hour. Now, if you think for a hot-second, that I am working for 12.00 an hour you’re completely insane. But this is what the new Medics are facing. 1980’s wages for a comparable job that pays 28.00-30.00 dollars in a hospital, in a controlled atmosphere, with security roaming the halls all wrapped in comfy scrub pants. New medics are jumping the fence to nursing in droves. And the ones that haven’t will shortly.

So how is the shortage of Paramedics going to affect you? There are less people caught in the vapors of a fast ambulance, the wail of a siren and the thrill of possibly saving a life. Simply put, EMS is imploding. The emergency response walls are falling in all over this country; there are manpower shortages, leakages to nursing, and people who aren’t stupid enough to fall for the “you’ll be a hero” spiel. That means longer response times for you, the under trained will arrive at your door (because most EMS programs will hand feed those who wouldn’t other wise make it) and very poor service. Yes, Paramedics would rather go home at night and make a decent wage instead of getting punished over and over again, thus the good Medics are making the leap to nursing and you dear reader are left with the bad ones.


Monday, May 19, 2008

Advice for the 08' High School Senior

May is the season for High School 08’ seniors across the country to receive their diplomas. There will be teary-eyed Mothers as they remember their kids first day of school and Dads going, “Whew it’s finally over.” This almost religious ceremony consist of a keynote speaker, a valedictorian speaker, the principal speaking, diplomas passed to the right hand as the graduate takes pictures and expensive mortarboards flung carelessly into the air followed by hugs at the end. Now after this ceremony some facts are evident…some graduates will get pregnant, some graduates will be impregnating, some graduates will get drunk and some will sadly die. And it happens every year. Oh joy. But for those graduates who made it through life, relatively unscathed, a little heavier and a whole lot wiser what advice can you offer the new graduates without sounding like a complete idiot? Well, I have taken the liberty to list some conversation starters.

10. Just finishing high school isn’t enough. A high school education opens doors to places you wouldn’t have access to if you did not have one. But to make a decent living continue your education.

9. The military is an option. Some parents count this option out but if you want to make money, meet others your age and be around other self-starters…this is the place. I know Iraq is dangerous but so is underage drinking and buying dope in a bad neighborhood.

8. Don’t wait until fall. Being out of school or not having a focused path will only grow moss under your feet. Have somewhere to go after high school and that does not mean the beaches of Mexico.

7. Be different. Don’t let the crowd decide what you should do. Seniors all over the country fall into this trap all the time. Just because your friends want to sit out a year doesn’t mean you should.

6. Move. Staying in one place is almost a death knell for anyone’s future. The same people doing the same thing over and over again can ruin anyone’s psyche.

5. Choose your college path carefully Prerequisites and core classes are what you will be dealing with your first two years of college. Worry about your major later.

4. Find a part-time job to fill any monetary short comings. The free days have ended it is time to get a job. Can you say, ‘Welcome to McDonalds.”

3. Start working on your resume now. Volunteering to help in a possible career choice helps you get an understanding of the field you are choosing.

2. One Tree Hills is a lie. There won’t be any hand holding because you are sad, people don’t care if your friends die, or if you are having a bad day… get used to it.

1. Birth Control/HIV protection is readily available. Do I need to say more.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Stupid Test

Oh, you are going to love this test. This test has a meter that drops as you get questions wrong.I truly loved playing this game. Play if you dare. Click the title to get widgets like this for your own blog.

The Stupid Test


Monday, May 12, 2008

Ten Sure Ways to Win the US Presidency in 08’

All too often the common sense God gave a Mule is overshadowed by the sheer magnitude of partisan politics when it comes to winning the Presidential election. But I have the key to win, right here in this blog. And believe me if either Obama or McCain is willing or able to make the hard decisions and choose just 5 of these simple ways I am sure they will breeze right into the White House.

10. Create a true economic stimulus plan.

I don’t mean give taxpayers money so they can spend it, even though I am getting a new air-conditioning unit out of the Bush White House, I mean jobs are good. Stable life-sustaining jobs are even better. And yes, working at McDonald's is considered a job, only if you are 15 and living at home. Our fellow Americans need jobs so they can buy health insurance and provide for their families. Show us how you intend to bring back industry and the voters will beat a path to your door.

9. Show us how to disengage, albeit proudly, from Iraq.

You cannot criminalize yawning or jealousy. You cannot put a tax on love and you defiantly cannot fight a religious movement to resist the occupying infidels, P.S we are the occupying infidels, regardless of what the spin-masters say. There is a lot at stake, there thousands of American dead and tens of thousands of American wounded. Tomorrow, there will be interference from Iran in Iraqi affairs. The day after that there will be even more American casualties and the day after that even more Iraqi soldiers will abandon their post. Show us how you intend to pull out with grace and pride.

8. Show us a feasible Health care Plan.

Let’s face it; there are people who consider any help from the government a form of welfare. Mind you, government back student loans, Pell grants, farmer subsidies and corporate bailouts in their opinion are not. How stupid is that? Sorry for the rambling, where was I, oh yes. Possessing quality, and I do stress quality health care, is the difference between life and death…literally. Don’t believe me, show up at an ER without insurance and get treated like a cockroach-encrusted turd. The health care workers raises depend on the ability of the patient to pay. If you don’t have insurance…they all hate you. Make an affordable insurance, place caps on treatments, punish offending doctors, nurses and insurance companies for bad behavior and the Oval Office is yours.

7. Show us how you intend to control Immigration.

Okay, this is a hot button issur. The Republicans want to throw every Mexican, legal or not, singing Himno Nacional Mexicano back across the border. The Democrats want to embrace the Hispanic population. But the fact remains, what do you do? Easy, increase fines to astronomical levels for undocumented workers. Deport all persons who are not citizens and not in possession of legal worker status. Make only the legal workers children born in the US…US citizens. Make legal workers liable for taxes and obtain a temporary SSN for tracking purposes. The point is there is no easy answer for this. Either choice made is going to piss someone off. But show us how.

6. Show us how you intend to educate our Children.

America develops and implements technology so fast, the rest of the world has to keep up with us…with the exception of Japan. So why is it we are having gang fights, school shootings and teacher improprieties against students. I am tired of private schools touting their benefit to society when public schools are funded better. Do something different. Start over, fire some teachers, jail some parents and put God back in the classroom. Oh and classify the Atheist as a spiritual terrorist that will certainly stop the lawsuits.

5. Show us your war face.

Can you answer the red phone at 3:00am? Can you send missile strikes with impunity then roll over and go back to sleep. Or will you be so indecisive that you hesitate and the bad guy gets a jump on America. I don’t mean attack Idaho for something Pakistan has done because the terrorist went to Idaho for vacation once back in the early 80’s. I mean can you use the Military option with gangsta precision? Tell us when and how.

4. Publicly acknowledge global warming and your plan to fix it.

Melting polar ice and insane hurricanes…nuff said. Get to fixing the problem.

3. Show us your plan to ease the tax burden on, “Average American.”

Republican’s love tax cuts, as long as they are for people in the upper income brackets. Democrats love raising taxes for programs that don’t work and build a social dependence. Espouse your happy medium and get ready to take the oath.

2. Detail your plan to stir competitive research in alternative energy.

Most people feel that because their lifespan is too short to care about energy cost. Okay, well let’s put it this way. You are creating a disease that is making your life easier but is going to murder your children in the distant future; and they are too young to comprehend the ramifications of your actions. When they get older, that disease you designed has manifested and is making them ill, they are going broke poor trying to get well and then eventually your disease kills your kids real good. Are we on the same page? Show us how you intend to make life easier for our future.

1.How do you intend to reduce the cost and dependence on oil?

We can design war vehicles that can drive by themselves, X-Planes go into space on a tight budget and the entire country is going digital in 09, and you mean to tell me we can’t find an energy source that will put OPEC in the red. For goodness sake the average computer user has access to satellite images from Google and can shop for goods and services online while naked as the day they were born. Let China, India and Russia have the oil; show us how we can commute to work without filling up our vehicles at 4.00 per gallon.


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Voodoo Chile---Blues Version

If you are a Jimi Hendrix will appreciate his blues take on one of the most famous songs in American Rock...even though it is his song. Enjoy!


Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Just One Hurricane

I am watching the news and I suddenly came up with a revelation of sorts. This revelation hinges on the fact that hurricane season is right around the corner and if the price of oil waxes and wanes on sabotage on a pipeline in Nigeria, a Fed cut in our key interests rate or the Euro spikes once again…what in the hell is the price of oil going to reach if a hurricane approaches the Gulf of Mexico. This does not bode well for the home team. We live in a speculative economy where the slightest inkling that a product or service could be reduced would send prices spiraling out of normal consumer range. If you don’t believe me say: Tickle Me Elmo, PlayStation 3, and Guitar Hero 3. Where Christmas shortages produced panic buying at 500 percent of the toys normal cost. So what does one do? Really, how do you survive when American food prices are climbing and it will soon, real soon, be too expensive to drive? Well, I have a solution and clicking the link in the title of this blog will give you details.
Yes, a hurricane will approach the Gulf of Mexico…hurricanes have always approached the gulf. But the price of fuel nationwide has never hinged on this fact as it does now. Well, the point to this blog entry is to prepare my readers. Now, while things are still cheap…I would, because I am, stocking up on fuel sensitive items such as, cooking oil, motor oil, charcoal (you have to cook), propane fuel and making use of empty space for canned goods in your home. Sounds like the Apocalypse huh? Well sort of but the point is to be prepared. I didn’t say get matching black track suits and wait for the mothership to pick you up. I was advising that milk is 4.00 a gallon, cooking oil is 3.00 a bottle and one major weather event will place them out of your reach. But hey look on the good side we will all lose some weight with all the walking, meal reductions and such.


Saturday, May 03, 2008

May 2nd AMR Paramedic Strike Ends…Amicably

This article appears in the online version of the Daily News Los Angeles. It was reported on May 1 2008 by Jerry Berrios, Staff Writer.

The strike involving nearly 300 paramedics and emergency medical technicians in the Antelope, Santa Clarita and San Gabriel valleys has ended.
AMR, a private ambulance company that contracts with Los Angeles County, and the International Association of EMTs and Paramedics came to a tentative labor agreement Wednesday night.
"The strike is over," said AMR spokesman Jason Sorrick. "Our employees are coming back to work. We are moving forward, and we will continue to provide the best emergency service to the citizens we serve."
According to AMR, the agreement calls for employees' wages to increase by 20 percent over the next four years, retroactive to November 2007. The company also will not make any changes to employee health-care benefits through December.
"I believe that the contract is fair and equitable," said Matthew Levy, national director of the IAEP.
Levy said the contract addresses most of the workers' concerns. Instead of the 6 percent annual raise workers wanted, they are getting 5 percent. Instead of having AMR the company paying 80 percent of health-care costs, it AMR is paying 75 percent of the premium employee health-care plan.
"It was worthwhile as we got some of the concessions we wanted," Levy said.
The workers went on strike at 8 a.m. Monday. Pickets gathered at the AMR stations in Lancaster and Irwindale. AMR brought in employees from other areas of California, Oregon and Missouri to operate ambulances.
The majority of the employees returned to work Thursday and the remainder will come back to work today.
County officials monitored the strike through conference calls with AMR management and others, e-mail with firefighters and verifying ambulance worker credentials at area hospitals.
"We are very pleased that the work action is over," said Cathy Chidester, acting director of L.A. County's Emergency Medical Services Agency. "We think it was handled well by all affected parties."

It goes to show what Paramedics can do when they wiggle in a collective fashion. Good job guys from The Apocalypse Papers!