Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hello Dolly

Ladies and Gentlemen I direct your attention to a potential hurricane forming off of the Yucatan Peninsula and I could never be more annoyed than if Hurricane Chris decided to run for a Republican Senate seat. There is no possible way to stop this tropical storm from entering the warm bath water of the Gulf of Mexico. And it is in the gulf where Dolly will churn and grow almost as powerful as Hurricane Katrina. Where Dolly will head after that is anyone’s guess.

The Weather Channel, of course, has regular updates on Dolly, as well as NOAA, however I am not so concerned about the potential devastation Dolly will cause. Hurricanes, ahem, often do that. I am concerned about the magnification of automobile and diesel fuel prices after land fall. Take a look at a picture of the Gulf of Mexico looks empty…right? Well take a look at this map of the gulf. What did you see, oil rigs, shipping lanes, oil platforms, barges and so forth and so on? So I guess it is time to get the walking shoes out, dust off that old bicycle and go on a diet. Just remember look to the left of this page for oil updates and don’t forget you read it on The Apocalypse Papers first.


Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'm Old Gregg!!!

If you like to laugh this is the video for your. It contains words like, "Mangina" and "Downstairs Mix-up." This video is 10 minutes long but will leave you laughing believe me. I am still yelling, "I'm Old Gregg." This sketch comedy is from The Mighty Boosh. Hey, sometimes the monotony of adulthood has to be broken up with laughter. Have fun..."I'M OLD GREGG" HA Ha Ha Ha.


Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Atheist Soldier

Jeremy Hall is an atheist. He is also a U.S. service member who has served in Iraq. Now, the problem is, Jeremy Hall has been ostracized, criticized and threatened by his fellow service members for his personal religiousbeliefs. This in my opinion is wrong. He is protected by the First Amendment. Jeremy Hall states after two tours in Iraq he, “lost his faith.” I can understand that. But I think that if he has, “lost his faith” he should at least keep his mouth shut and blend in with the crowd, because nobody likes a loud-mouth god-less creep. Just like no one likes a loud-mouth, righteous, fire and brimstone quoting, proselytizing, church bigot. It is difficult enough to observe and participate in the horrors of war.

Combat has done a lot of things to a lot of men and women. Some will return home from battle and live a normal life. Some will return broken and heavily medicated. And some will never come home at all because bombs sometimes completely vaporize human flesh. During wartime the only escape from the guilt is to try to cultivate an inner peace, because combat is dirty and the brutality of man is in high-definition and uncensored. This cultivation often comes at the end of a sermon given by a Chaplin. It is a comfort to those who need it. If Jeremy didn’t need religious peace he should respected those who did. Me personally, I never attended Sunday service during Desert Shield/Storm. However I did find, “Foxhole Religion.” I never forget that smoke-filled night. We were dug-in and under fire by the Republican Guard (yes the Republican Guard did fight.)I remember praying as AK-47 rounds and scud missiles flew willy-nilly around the battle field, “Please Jesus, just let me kill every mother fucker that is wearing the wrong uniform…Amen.” My squad leader who was crouched down beside me whispered, “That goes for me too Lord.” I respect Jeremy’s right for religious freedom. But I think he is irresponsible for his actions.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Five INSANE News Stories

I deplore megalomaniacal rants by puritanical, self-righteous bigots who think they secrete strawberry-scented feces. I prefer criminally-dirty rants like Foamy the Squirrel, Hail Foamy. I want a rant that is scathing but succinct, factual and objective. So when I decided to write this rant-like entry I thought of all the news topics and blog entries that made me do a double take and go…What? And the entire week has been a roller coaster of “whats.”

5.Tweaker Goes on Murder Spree.

Eight people died as a result of this Meth-addicted mans rampage. They were as old as 93 and as young as a toddler. If you are a Meth-addict, “You SUCK.” And the cops were surprised because this was out of character for this waste of human space. He should be dressed in a mini-skirt and thrown in a cell with those who haven’t seen a woman in years so he can be humped to death.

4.Teen Looses Head over Hat

Six Flags over Georgia is an awesome place to work. I should know I worked there for four years. This amusement park strives to maintain a family atmosphere and beauty. There are safety classes, safety briefings, safety posters, safety drills and safety gear. There are safety inspections, safety personnel and safety stations. But there is one thing Six Flags over Georgia has invented or possesses and that is a spray to stop stupid. Every ride in the park clearly direct riders to secure all loose items. But, if you hop several fences, ignore every sign and subsequently get your head lopped clean off you deserve it.

3. Mugabe steals election

Imagine being able to do whatever you want to whoever you
want, any time day or night with total impunity. You have a country for a playground an army for muscle and all the money, gold and diamonds, you could imagine. However, if you lose the election the populace will seek revenge. You and your sympathizers will be summarily executed in the most violent and creative of ways. If you were Mugabe, would you allow this to happen….of course not.

2.Medical Helicopters Collide in Broad Daylight

I have been in my fair share of helicopters. I have experienced several mishaps and numerous near misses. But what I don’t understand is how two, 2, dos, helicopters could collide in broad daylight. Let me set this up. Medical helicopters are restricted from flying in less than ideal conditions, i.e. low cloud cover, fog, rain or a combination thereof. So someone had to be goofing off.

1.Skyrocketing Health Care Cost

Imagine that even with health care insurance many hospital procedures are still too expensive. Well…believe it or not this happens in America almost every day of almost every hour on the hour. It’s like this. The insured suffers an injury and needs treatment. After the crisis has passed and the patient is better, a hemorrhoid is cultivated by the greedy hands of the hospital and the dirty man-tool of the insurance company. Because the insurance plan only pays 60 to 80 percent of a previously agreed upon discounted price. The customer then has to pay the balance between what was billed and what was paid. This could mean thousands of dollars. Where is medical transparency when you need it?