Thursday, December 18, 2008

What's Next?

OPEC cut oil production by 4 million barrels a day and the price of oil fell right along side with the cut. Serves their syndicate-having asses’ rights, no matter what OPEC does to oil production, oil investors are leery, nobody is buying gas and most people are broke because the world’s economies suck. Take that OPEC!

No more new buildings in Dubai for you.

How in the French Kissing hell do you get away with a 50 BILLION DOLLAR Ponzi Scheme? The Chinese would have executed the chief perpetrator and imprisoned his staff. Thank God he is in the US where he will keep his wealth, be under house arrest, not be able to travel, that'll teach him.

Yeah, whateva.

Chrysler shuts down for thirty days. Meanwhile thousands of people are unemployed as their plants shut down permanently or are in the process of shutting down permanently. The unemployed will not get any of the bail out loot and neither should Chrysler. Let’s see what GM does in the meantime.

President-elect Obama proposes a one billion trillion dollar economic stimulus package. If our economy continues to fall, along with our dollar, the trillion dollar stimulus package will be worth around $87.00 give or take a few cents.

Drew Peterson is engaged to potential wife number 5, age 23. Really? Isn’t he still married to wife number 4 and by the way Drew, where is wife number 4? And it hasn’t been resolved that wife number 3 was drowned…who will stop this guy before he marries your daughter. Geesh, he’s like the roaming gnome of marriage albeit,however, a murdering gnome.

The credit card industry is getting revamped, in a peculiar sort of way. Change is a commin in 2010. As if we don’t need help right now at this moment in time. Not a 18 months later when we are all bankrupt and not givin' a damn. Now if we can just do something about those payday loan sharks stores.

NASA recently had an “Oh, Shit,” moment, they realized that a couple trillions tons of ice were missing. NEWSFLASH: We found your missing ice NASA; it is called snow in Las Vegas, monsoonal rains in Mississippi and Alabama and ice storms in New England. You’re welcome NASA that will be 94 million dollars in small bills.

Bones measuring the same size of one missing little girl with strands of hair that match her color are found in buried in a yard. If there is a DNA match proving the bones are the remains of Caylee Anthony, her mother should be snatched out of jail by her hair and beaten
soundly on live television until she stops breathing.

By throwing a shoe at a US President you asking to have your ass kicked up around your shoulder blades. And we will not hear from the journalist that threw the shoes because he is trying to remove said ass from his own shoulder blades. Even though we are at an impasse in Iraq, the US economy is falling faster than a fat girl on an ice rink, and we are losing jobs every day. Wait what was I saying?



200th Post Yay Me!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

The Next Bailout

We’ve seen banks, car companies, car dealerships, factories, businesses, the housing market and families collapse under theses tough economic times. The only good thing that has come out of this economic crisis is Gas in northwest Alabama is 1.49 per gallon. And that gas price probably won’t last long because OPEC is trying to figure out a way to increase the amount per barrel of oil to 75.00. If they do however, we as Americans should figure out a way to make our corn, wheat, cheese, and Viagra double what those OPEC members pay for them…no make that triple.

Watching CNN this morning I realized that the UAW is being mighty gracious to accept small pay cuts and to accept some minor layoffs to assist with the automotive crisis. In the words of one of my favorite websites, the UAW can eat a dick. Every UAW could work for free and it wouldn’t do anything to assist the automotive crisis. Event though those guys are part of the problem with 30.00 per hour jobs, free healthcare and retirement plans that are the envy of the nation, they aren’t the problem. The responsible parties are those who allowed those gas guzzling vehicles to be made and let cost run away like a crackhead with a hundred dollar bill.

Today, we will watch the big three automotive Executives come back before congress for a 25 34 billion dollar bail out. Where the hell they get that number is beyond me. The Executives will arrive in hybrids with drivers looking as humble as possible wearing 2,000 dollar suits and 10,000 watches. We will watch as the panel congressmen chew their Execs asses out for a couple of hours on live television before they hand them the money. If not we will watch millions of people lose their jobs on live television as the Dow reaches an all time low. Then OPEC will watch in horror as .99 cent gas hits American streets once again.

The Apocalypse Papers Prediction: Health Care Collapses