Monday, May 21, 2007

How to Prepare For Any Medical Emergency

There are so many medical experts bouncing around the airwaves that one could get dizzy trying to follow them all. If those experts had their way we would live in a glass bubble until the day we die. However as humans we know that life is about living and living involves risk. So knowing how to prepare for any medical emergency is as simple as being ahead of the curve with the right information. And having the right information can be is the difference between basking at a day spa or cooling at a funeral home.

First things first common sense is free. You own it, so let’s start there. The most involved person in your personal health care should not be your doctor. It should be you! Your doctor performs a physical assessment as a nurse records their findings in your medical records. The way any physician knows how to treat you is by finding out what is wrong first and going from there. The way any other doctor, who has never seen you before, can treat you effectively is by knowing what health issues you have. So the first thing you should do in preparation for a potential heart attack or stroke is write down these critical items:

1. Your Name
2. Your Date of Birth(do you know how many people have your name)
3. Your Doctor's Name
4. Your Doctor's Phone Number(Doctors have the same name also)

If you suddenly became critically ill or better yet you were unable to speak during a sudden illness who could you trust to give accurate medical information about you? If you answered: spouses, a parent, a girlfriend/boyfriend, a co-worker, give yourself 0 points. Only YOU know the most about YOU! And having well meaning E.R Doctor play Russian roulette with your health, while the person you trust freaks completely out is solely your fault. So also written down somewhere in your home you should have:

1. A complete list of current prescription drugs
2. A list of Over the Counter medications
3. Any Herbal Supplements (these interact with some drugs)
4. Pertinent Past Medical History i.e. Strokes, Seizures. HIV
5. Drug and Food Allergies

And you should tell someone well advance where this information is located. If you are traveling you should have a listing in your phone that states ICE on In Case of Emergency. The person on the other end of that number entry should have a copy of your medical information.

So let’s recap. To increase your survivability during medical emergencies you must have pertinent, accurate and current information concerning our health written down somewhere and a rational, trusted person who knows where you placed it. Also when the time does come when you are unable to speak or move during an emergency IT IS TOO LATE. And remember participation in your own health care is just as critical as having health insurance.


Sunday, May 20, 2007

Top 10 Reasons You Should Avoid Buffets

But I don’t think my previous post entitled, “Competition Trick Eating” was taken serious so here is my take on the top 10 reasons you should avoid buffets.

1.If you experience shortness of breath while walking from your car to the buffet, the buffet might not be for you.

2.If you experience shortness of breath while walking from your buffet table to the steam tables please reconsider your actions.

3.If you sweat profusely while you eat. Yep, you might want to avoid buffets.

4.If you have Cankles or a Calves and ankles combination. Better known as the “Little Lotta Syndrome” you should avoid buffets.

5.If you think a “salad” looks like with a sprig of lettuce with a whole ham on it, smothered in bacon bits, drowned in copious amounts of Ranch dressing and encrusted with croutons. You might want to avoid buffets.

6.If you ride a Hoveround not because you have arthritis, degenerative joint disease or had a previous stroke, but simply you are to fat to walk you might want to think about rolling away from the buffet door.

7.If you have no neck and snore while you are awake. You guessed it, run away.

8. If you are prescribed medication for any of theses words: Hypercholesterolemia, Type II Diabetes Mellitus, Hypertension, or Cholelithiasis. The buffet is not for you.

9. If you need two tables pushed together for you and a friend or IF you are sitting on two chairs You guessed it.

10. If your face is so fat that your eyes look closed. The buffet is definitely not for you.

Honestly buffets should come with a warning at the door that reads,” The contents of this establishment may cause heart disease or diabetes if taken in excess


Friday, May 18, 2007

2007 Hurricane Preparedness

During the 2006 Hurricane season the Southeastern U.S held its breath as they watched storm after storm build and disintegrate causing minimal damage comparatively to the 2005 season. (You can see the entire season here on Wikipedia). It was during 2006 Hurricane Season that the people living along the Gulf Coast were the most prepared. Now that the Atlantic Hurricane season is upon us again I felt there are eleven essential tasks you should perform well in advance of being effected by a major storm passing through your area.

1. First things first get on the phone and call your local EMA director. You will need a list of storm shelters in your area. If your EMA Director is busy or seems like they don’t have the time, contact your local Red Cross they should have the listings of certified shelters in your area after all they are the ones that certify shelters in the first place.

2. Next make a copy of all your important documents, i.e. medical records, prescriptions, credit cards, driver’s license, insurance papers and then either MAIL them to a trusted family member or place them in a safe deposit box.

3. You should have a detailed waterproof map of your neighborhood, county and state. You should have at least 3 alternate evacuation routes before storm landfall and three alternate return routes after the storm passes. Now if you want to be really thorough, pen in all the gas stations, storm shelters, fire stations and hospitals on all three routes.

4. Everyone in your evacuating family should have a 3 day bag. This bag should be packed and set aside with only the essentials to evacuate such as: Change of clothes for three days, sanitary items, small hand held games, books, telephone calling card (because cell towers can topple in high wind and cell phones die) and prescription medications, (Hot curlers, Plasma televisions, electric cookware, desk top computers are not essential items as I saw during Katrina.)

5. Purchase a pallet of bottled water.

6. Invest in a generator, a heavy chain, and strong padlock. Now the exhaust from a generator will KILL (notice I said WILL) you and your entire family if used indoors. Make sure your generator is outside of the building while running. Now would be the time to figure out a way to chain it to the ground preventing the generator from being stolen. (Yes there are thieves after storms).

7. Purchase a large cooler with wheels to store large amounts of ice.

8. Invest in a battery operated weather radio(with spare batteries), flash lights (at least two), tea light candles, calumet light sticks, aluminum foil, synthetic rope, matches and for heavens sake Duct Tape at least 4 rolls. Don’t be fooled by purchasing these items through super rescue magazines or so called, “Experts” Your local dollar store has most of these supplies.

9. You should have a 10 gallon gas tank with a strong tight cap and a funnel. (During Hurricane Katrina people were burning themselves by not having a funnel trying to fill their cars and generators)

10. You should stock up on essential canned foods, and military styled meals ready to eat enough for at least three days. This way when you find out the storm is headed your way at least a three day head start on everyone else.

11. If your local EMA, Law Enforcement, Fire and EMS all scream in unison, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE"! DO IT! They possess information you aren’t privy to. Call them on it later if they were wrong. If you decide to stay and “ride out” the storm make sure you have written on a waterproof card in indelible ink your name, date of birth and social security number it. Place this card in your pocket so there will be no problem identifying your body if you become a storm casualty.

After years of rescuing people after horrendous storms and participating in the recovery I felt this was the best way to get the message out.


Thursday, May 17, 2007

Website of the Day

AfterVote is an awesomely stylish website with plenty of interactive buttons and any web surfer, worth their salt, loves buttons. I ran across AfterVote while reading an article about it through SEO Chat. And after a couple of random searches I was actually astonished at how simple AfterVote was to use. If you are a writer or a researcher this site is for you, if you like multiple results from the big three (Google, Yahoo, and MSN) this site is for you and if you like being able to block bad results directly from the search page you got it, this site is for you. I entered the name of my blog into AfterVote and this is what I found.

If you noticed this page looks like something out of a spaceship’s control panel with its bright white page and multicolored buttons. But trust me; it is really easy to navigate. If you look to the far left side, of the very first search result, you will find a small box with three icons. To the right of the icons are numbers that indicate at what search request you could find in on each respective major search engine. The Apocalypse Papers is number 6 on Google and number 1 on Yahoo and not even listed on MSN (I just submitted the site). To the right of the small icon box what you would find in a normal search result. However at the bottom of your search results you have the following icon from left to right:

1. Cached Pages on Google, Yahoo, MSN
2. Alex’s Page rank (mine happens to be 15 hey it’s better than 0)
3. Google’s Page Rank
4. Stumble’s Identification of the Website
5. Digg This (the funky looking white blocks)
6. Add to your Account(if you have an account)
7. Email (They need to tweak this button because it opens in I.E)
8. Google’s “Translate your results” or it takes you to the site with a Google frame.
9. Bugmenot is the button that allows you to see registration names and passwords to keep from registering on certain sites (use with caution).
10. The Archives or Wayback button that will contain archived pages from your requested site.
11. The Green Button can prioritize, positive or bookmark the site.
12. The Red Button can negative vote, block the domain or even block the link from future results. (Neat huh?)

It is not often I run across a site that has such usable features. It is still a new site, so new there aren’t even ads on its search pages! However they need to work on its email feature it should be as simple as the Stumble email feature but hey I will give them time. Congratulations to


as The Apocalypse Papers Website of the Day!


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Prince Harry Safe From War

Deep in the bowels of Windsor Castle a decision was made that combat duty in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom was too dangerous for precious Prince Harry. This may come as a shock to the Royal Family but Iraq is a dangerous place for any soldier period. When U.S troops are deployed or reactivated for the ump-teenth time those service men and women, go dutifully, some grumble, some are scared shitless, and some pray for a safe return so they won’t miss the ’08 Presidential election. But the point is they go. Sadly some of our beloved troops won’t return, some will be mangled, and others will have Post Traumatic Stress Disorders for life. But they’re earnest in their efforts to succeed regardless of the debate on faulty intelligence and other meaningless grandstanding by politicians.

Even though he is royalty Prince Harry is no different from any of our young men. For every one soldier killed in the Anbar Province or in the Sunni Triangle, the United States may have lost a potential Senator, Representative or President. I realize Harry is third in line, to the crown, but believe me there is a line of succession that just about includes everyone in Britain and a couple of people in Detroit. So he can be replaced. Harsh you think? That is a sad reality of war. What about Harry becoming an enemy trophy you ask? So what I reply, Al Qaeda has three American soldiers right now. Needless soldiers will die protecting the Prince if he serves in combat you say? I am pretty sure that our troops that died in the recent ambush were protecting each other. Think about it Harry’s entire tour may be needed to prevent other needless wars on behalf of the crown. He will have experienced the horrors of war and thusly will react with prudence and patience when considering military solutions to obvious diplomatic problems in the future. So go ahead Prince Harry go see some combat I promise we wont tell.


Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Jerry Falwell Quotes

Personally I wanted to blog-punish the person behind such sayings as,

"We visit prisoners on death row, and some of them are saved, but we believe their sentences should be carried out because they have a debt to society"

Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America

and a staunch supporter of apartheid but I didn't...NOT that I have respect for dead people. But I would rather have you read the quotes yourself.

Jerry Falwell Quotes

Monday, May 14, 2007

How To Write A Short Story

If you are considering writing then this blog entry is for you. Learning how to write a short story is just as difficult as learning how to ice skate…once you fall down a couple of times you lean how to fall and why you fell. And after having a sore bottom time after time you become a better skater.

Well first things first. There are thousands of literary websites that promote that they are the definite authority on writing. The problem, I found, with these “how to” writing websites is that they are overly technical. And for the inexperienced writer this can be confusing. For all practical purposes there are two things you should have before you even consider putting nimble fingers to keyboard. One is creativity and the second is persistence. Without either one you are going to suck as a writer.

Before you start on a journey into the world of imagination you should brush up on your vocabulary and learn the basic literary terms. Having a strong vocabulary is essential when writing but it really isn’t necessary, WAIT, before you go berserk and banish me to all things baroque. Not everyone is enhanced with an Oxford English Dictionary Unabridged shoved up their bum. You will learn new words when you mature as a writer. And what makes a great writer…an excellent reader of course!

Now when starting a short story I found that writing without stopping works wonders. Don’t worry about missing a comma splice or busting verbs. Just write as fast as you can until your writers voice demands a sip of water. Complete your story before you return to the first sentence to begin the editing process. Once you start over you can hone in on the build of your story. A short story must have a plot. A short story must move the reader along. A short story has a beginning, middle and ending. Breathe life into your main character(s) by doing a character profile on a separate piece of paper. This will make your main character(s) three dimensional and believable. Next place your story in a category (i.e. horror, romance, sci-fi, drama) and remember that it is hard to sell a story that has multiple genres.

Once you have finished your character profile, found out what genre your story will be, then it will be time to edit. Believe me the story you initially wrote won’t look anything like your completed story. When you are satisfied place your story in a box under the bed or hide it for a couple of weeks. This way when you return to it(hopefully with your muse in tow) you will have a fresh set of eyes. Yes that actually works. And with any luck over time you will become published, pretentious and have your face plastered all over bookstores sprinkled through out America.


Sunday, May 13, 2007

Paris Hilton is Going to Jail

A 26 year old pseudo-celebrity named Paris Hilton is headed to jail on June 5th because she refused to comply with the conditions of her parole. And what was Paris’s excuse for doing so? Because she didn’t know she couldn’t drive on a suspended license. The statement she made before Judger Sauer sentenced her sounded mildly retarded, "I'm very sorry, and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry, and I did not do it on purpose at all…” Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer listened intently and then gave her 45 days in jail. He made sure he closed every comfortable alternative (electronic monitoring, house arrest, special incarceration or work detail) so Paris could experience the “Simple Life” of forced detention (I couldn’t resist the pun). In jail Paris will temporarily mingle with common folk who aren’t rich like her and are really, really, angry. Her fellow inmates will scoff at her, yell at her and even threaten her with bodily harm and yes she will have to take it. But in my opinion a month and a half in jail will change Paris’s perspective but not her life. Paris needs something more sinister.

Paris Hilton is a living testament to Cesare Beccaria’s sliding scale of justice. To paraphrase Beccaria, “the amount of justice you receive is directly connected to your economic status.” Simply put if the average person was driving around on a suspended license and failed to show up for court ordered classes. They would be arrested on the spot if pulled over. She was not. If the average person gave such a lame assed excuse in front of a Superior Court Judge they would receive extra jail time and they would have never made it out of the court room. Even Paris’s mother has the audacity to be upset at the sentence her daughter received. I think that MAAD should give Kathy Hilton a call or a good beat down.

Paris joins a long list of stars who believe they are immune to the DUI law. If I were a wealthy movie star I would pay someone to drive me around on party nights. That’s what you call being proactive. How many people would jump at the chance to be a designated driver to the stars? And if you must drive drunk do it while playing Playstation’s Grand Turismo after chugging a fifth of Tequila at home with your car keys hidden away.

As a Paramedic I know that drunks have killed and maimed a lot of sober people and that is exactly the point Judge Sauer was making. I will refrain from preaching sermon on the evils of drunk driving. I do however have a site where you can see the pictures of drunk driving accidents. Of course if it were left up to me to mete out a punishment, I wouldn’t opt for jail time. My punishment would be for Paris make pretty those people killed by drunk drivers for one month and then attend their funerals. I am sure Paris would turn into a saint…at least for a little while.


Monday, May 07, 2007

How to Find a Job Overseas

There are some people who prefer the simple comforts of their small city or state. This blog entry is not for them. Today’s entry will teach you (the courageous one) how to find a job overseas. If you ever felt that there was more to life than driving on the right side of the road or even using the same old greenback currency you are not alone. Ok, first things first. You want employment overseas but you don’t know were to start? Let’s look the dangerous places you should bypass first. The State Department puts out a travel warning list, probably based on faulty intelligence…but erring on the side of safety make sure you read their list carefully. Well actually erring on the safest side, use Robert Young Pelton’s site "Come Back Alive" for in my opinion he has the most accurate information.

Surfing through the internet for this Monday’s entry, I realized there are thousands upon thousands of web pages on living and working abroad. I focused on frequently updated sites and forums that would yield the most accurate information. One of the most comprehensive sites on today's entry was from a gentleman named of John Adams. He chronicled all the pitfalls problems you could face from working abroad and in chapter 13 he even gives you a host of resources. Be sure to spend a little time looking around on his site.

Now there are a few things you should know about finding employment overseas. Before you can leave you should really have a U.S. Passport (No really). You should spend some time on the expatriate forums asking questions and interacting with people actually living abroad. Avoid all sites that asks for payment in exchange for information about overseas employment. There are rip offs everywhere for those who are impatient (do not be impatient). And remember if it looks to good to be true…it probably is. Also in some countries Americans are ahead of the education curve and will receive more for their skills. And in other countries you are behind the curve being almost reduced to servitude. The best thing is to look around and not be fooled.


Friday, May 04, 2007

Immigration Reform

Passing a practical and pertinent Immigration Reform Law will be like a two-year old girl trying to fly a jumbo jet. The flight itself can be accomplished …but that landing is going to be a doozey. I have noticed that the ultra-patriots and neo-conservatives like Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage and Sean Hannity all agree that something has to be done about Illegals saturating their country (I don’t live in their country I live in America). This Motley crew spews purulent rhetoric across the AM airwaves, as if no one was listening, and not really addressing the true problem of wage side economics.

Mexican immigrants are looking for a better life in our prosperous nation. So much so they are braving the Mexican desert, INS and members of the Minuteman Project in droves. However that better life should include going through the right channels, payment of their fair share of taxes and monetary participation into our social programs. Because I personally feel the pinch each time I receive a paycheck. A majority of Hispanic workers are working off the record (tax free) for mere pennies on the dollar. And paying low wages to a person who can be deported if they complain is like dream come true for the farmers who use them. It is a dream come true for the homebuilders and it is a dream come true for unscrupulous factory owners. Now there are advocacy websites such as this one that try to dispel the myths of the immigrant’s impact on the American economy. But it is hard to dispel something if these facts are present. Low wage industries are really the true problem and there are less of these owners than there are Hispanic Immigrants.

Attacking non compliant businesses without compassion or mercy would quickly turn the tide of Illegals. The problem lies with industry needs of cheap labor. If our government punished business owners that violated the reform by making them pay back wages and taxes for each individual that was undocumented. There would be no influx. If hospitals billed business owners directly for treatment of undocumented workers and their family members, business owners wouldn’t have to think twice. If apartment complexes were required to pay an elevated tax on each unit that was rented to undocumented tenets, there would be an exodus of sorts all around the country. Then our country could start over issuing visas and temporary work permits. I didn’t say punish the people who are looking for a better life, I say punish the people who already have a better life and are greedy. I know there are some of you that say, “It is not that simple” and I say, “It truly is” because it is harder to fight a colony of bees than it is the beekeeper.


Tuesday, May 01, 2007

D.C Madame

The news never ceases to amaze me. In the halls of justice there lurked the pimp to the politicians. If you look at Deborah Jeane Palfrey A.K.A “D.C Madame you would see an unassuming middle-aged woman with dark chestnut hair, round school teacher glasses and a soft daring smile. Her intelligence however is what really shines through. NOTE: I am in no way envious of this woman’s predicament of having her houses seized by the government along with her bank account. I am however getting my popcorn and soda ready for the day ABC finds out the names of her clients through telephone records. Let’s see how much money she gets for her legal defense. I am sure this move was well thought out….if Miz Jeane doesn’t get whacked first. Enjoy the video below.