Thursday, December 18, 2008

What's Next?

OPEC cut oil production by 4 million barrels a day and the price of oil fell right along side with the cut. Serves their syndicate-having asses’ rights, no matter what OPEC does to oil production, oil investors are leery, nobody is buying gas and most people are broke because the world’s economies suck. Take that OPEC!

No more new buildings in Dubai for you.

How in the French Kissing hell do you get away with a 50 BILLION DOLLAR Ponzi Scheme? The Chinese would have executed the chief perpetrator and imprisoned his staff. Thank God he is in the US where he will keep his wealth, be under house arrest, not be able to travel, that'll teach him.

Yeah, whateva.

Chrysler shuts down for thirty days. Meanwhile thousands of people are unemployed as their plants shut down permanently or are in the process of shutting down permanently. The unemployed will not get any of the bail out loot and neither should Chrysler. Let’s see what GM does in the meantime.

President-elect Obama proposes a one billion trillion dollar economic stimulus package. If our economy continues to fall, along with our dollar, the trillion dollar stimulus package will be worth around $87.00 give or take a few cents.

Drew Peterson is engaged to potential wife number 5, age 23. Really? Isn’t he still married to wife number 4 and by the way Drew, where is wife number 4? And it hasn’t been resolved that wife number 3 was drowned…who will stop this guy before he marries your daughter. Geesh, he’s like the roaming gnome of marriage albeit,however, a murdering gnome.

The credit card industry is getting revamped, in a peculiar sort of way. Change is a commin in 2010. As if we don’t need help right now at this moment in time. Not a 18 months later when we are all bankrupt and not givin' a damn. Now if we can just do something about those payday loan sharks stores.

NASA recently had an “Oh, Shit,” moment, they realized that a couple trillions tons of ice were missing. NEWSFLASH: We found your missing ice NASA; it is called snow in Las Vegas, monsoonal rains in Mississippi and Alabama and ice storms in New England. You’re welcome NASA that will be 94 million dollars in small bills.

Bones measuring the same size of one missing little girl with strands of hair that match her color are found in buried in a yard. If there is a DNA match proving the bones are the remains of Caylee Anthony, her mother should be snatched out of jail by her hair and beaten
soundly on live television until she stops breathing.

By throwing a shoe at a US President you asking to have your ass kicked up around your shoulder blades. And we will not hear from the journalist that threw the shoes because he is trying to remove said ass from his own shoulder blades. Even though we are at an impasse in Iraq, the US economy is falling faster than a fat girl on an ice rink, and we are losing jobs every day. Wait what was I saying?



200th Post Yay Me!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

The Next Bailout

We’ve seen banks, car companies, car dealerships, factories, businesses, the housing market and families collapse under theses tough economic times. The only good thing that has come out of this economic crisis is Gas in northwest Alabama is 1.49 per gallon. And that gas price probably won’t last long because OPEC is trying to figure out a way to increase the amount per barrel of oil to 75.00. If they do however, we as Americans should figure out a way to make our corn, wheat, cheese, and Viagra double what those OPEC members pay for them…no make that triple.

Watching CNN this morning I realized that the UAW is being mighty gracious to accept small pay cuts and to accept some minor layoffs to assist with the automotive crisis. In the words of one of my favorite websites, the UAW can eat a dick. Every UAW could work for free and it wouldn’t do anything to assist the automotive crisis. Event though those guys are part of the problem with 30.00 per hour jobs, free healthcare and retirement plans that are the envy of the nation, they aren’t the problem. The responsible parties are those who allowed those gas guzzling vehicles to be made and let cost run away like a crackhead with a hundred dollar bill.

Today, we will watch the big three automotive Executives come back before congress for a 25 34 billion dollar bail out. Where the hell they get that number is beyond me. The Executives will arrive in hybrids with drivers looking as humble as possible wearing 2,000 dollar suits and 10,000 watches. We will watch as the panel congressmen chew their Execs asses out for a couple of hours on live television before they hand them the money. If not we will watch millions of people lose their jobs on live television as the Dow reaches an all time low. Then OPEC will watch in horror as .99 cent gas hits American streets once again.

The Apocalypse Papers Prediction: Health Care Collapses


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Bribing My Muse

This image found on Wiki Commons

Once you develop your writer’s voice you will always have it, at least that is what I believe. But having a writer’s voice is not enough to make it in the industry you’ll need a profound and an almost perverse sense of creativity to be distinguished from the literary status quo. Just imagine if Spider Man was just another person bitten by a spider. No sticky finger pads, spider sense, or a cool blue and red uniform, nothing, nada, zilch, just a regular ole guy with a spider bite. Add a muse to the aforementioned spider bite, she in turn adds a dose of freaky radiation and a weak protagonist, and ba-da-bing a million, no, billion dollar idea. However, my muse, Calliope absolutely refuses to work unless I pay the Community Coffee and Splenda God or spend an hour on the elliptical at level 15. This Diva, wonderful woman of epic poetry, needs an attitude check.


I bribe her anyway.

As my pants get larger and it is hard to see small type because my eyes are vibrating from the caffeine overdose.

I bribe her

Because I feel there is a movie deal, a yacht and a couple of near misses with insane paparazzi at the end of edit number 7.

I bribe her

But I do it begrudgingly because I would like to do my take on the author’s pose of sitting on a park bench, legs crosses, staring reflectively across rolling hills and wondrous vistas.

Damn it.

Watch this space.


Wednesday, November 05, 2008

On Writing a Book

There are literally thousands upon thousands of websites that offer advice on writing a book but there isn’t onewebsite that will write that book for you. Let me back up, there are plenty of people that will ghostwrite for you, including yours truly, but it wouldn’t be you writing that book. Nether the less, I decided to flip my literary skills into the paper ring and join the growing pool of those-who-have-a-book-in-Barnes and Noble and see exactly where my creative skills will carry me. Would my book find its way to the top of a pile of dirty books in the free bin at the local animal shelter? Would it succeed to the point of a million-dollar advance, a diamond-crusted Pulitzer dangling around my neck and a geeky paper sign that reads, “He’s the Man?” Or would my success leak out in the middle a literary limbo right next to those one hit wonders and authors who just don’t know when to give up. Well, I won’t find out, neither will you, until I pen the words, “The End.” Just follow along you’ll be amazed.

Watch this space.


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Kung Fu Clowns

Sometimes you just have to laugh to shake the morning cobwebs off and this is that time. Kung Fu clowns is completely funny.


Thursday, October 30, 2008

Super Mario Brothers

Save the Princess, yada, yada, yada.


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Spider Eating a Bird

This spider is actually eating this bird. I have never in my entire life seen something this creepy. I mean really...where do these mutant things come from? Oh, yes...I remember...they come from AUSTRALIA! Click the title for the link to the actual article.


Sunday, October 26, 2008

Say NO to Bow Hunting...

and get you one of these!


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Protect Your Child Online

This sort of advertising drives home the message of online safety. Now I wish it would just catch on with Amber Alerts and Halloween safety.


Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Compare The Presidental Candidates

I couldn't resist. Sometimes people need analogies to get a clear message.

I found this photo here


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Terry Tate Office Linebacker

This YouTube video is funny as h*ll. If you arent laughing by the end of this short you need a break and some Prozac.


Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Health Insurance Coupon

As you read this blog entry the American economy is faltering like a drunken fat man on a freshly mopped floor, banks are collapsing , fingers are being pointed in Congress as to who is at fault for not allowing 700 Billion (place your pinky in the corner of your mouth like Dr. Evil) dollars of Tax Payersyours and mine our money to be injected into Wall Street as stocks bounce up an down according to the very speculation of a bailout or not. Hell, I forgot all about the price of oil. I am truly miffed pissed off because there are American citizens who don’t see the ramifications of a bailout. But that is not what I am blogging about today. Today is, the Health Insurance Coupon and why I think Health Care is going to tank like our economy.

I am no economist. No sir. I am average Joe Shmo Tax-Paying Citizen. I understand the principal of economics, supply, demand, profit, loss, credit, lending, blah, blah, blah. But what I do understand with extreme certainty is health care, simply because I have been in health care for over 21 years. But it wasn’t until today, this morning to be exact, I saw an AARP commercial that made me stop ironing and take note. I couldn’t find the commercial on YouTube but it was a man who said he had an insurance coupon that gave him discounts for health care but didn’t actually cover anything. He got critically ill, went bankrupt and pretty much lost everything. I felt his pain. The same happened to me.

I drove in to work, with that commercial heavy in my mind, this morning and realized in 21 years I have had over 20 co-workers and employees that have suffered financial ruin after a serious on the job injury. Oh, sure, Workman’s Comp you say? Well let’s visit that idea. Workman’s comp only pays a percentage of your base pay and if you are living on your overtime. You are in big trouble. Don’t live on your overtime, you say? Give me a raise or shut the f*ck up, I say. Back on topic, if you are injured at home, however, you have to pay your health insurance premiums if you are out of work. Try mustering 400.00 or more per month so you can be seen in your doctor’s office as your other monthly bills pile higher than a sparrow’s eye. Can you believe there are people who don’t care one bit about that worker who is in trouble?

Currently, crack heads the chemically dependent can get help faster than a positive contributor to our community. Why is that? Why it is that someone who has worked their entire life and amassed a fortune has a Medicare card? Why is it that a hospital will see a patient over and over and over again and again and again because this patient is a hypochondriac and the same hospital bills over and over again? Simply put, if the return-visit-patient is defrauding the hospital with multiple visits isn’t the hospital doing the same thing if they bill the insurance company? Why doesn’t health insurance pay for a gym membership? Why is it that an appendectomy in one hospital is a different price at another? Aren’t they the same? Also, if an appendectomy cost four thousand dollars less in another country, why aren’t insurance companies sending patients there for treatment.

Lastly if drugs are cheaper in Mexico and Canada why we aren’t outsourcing prescription drugs for our elderly and the poor…we outsource everything else. I believe these types of questions will lower the price and increase competitiveness in health care. I believe serious eye opening questions need to be asked and grown-up decisions made instead of having to pay 80 percent of cost because you are out of a coverage network or having to pay 100 percent of a treatment because it is experimental…even if it saves your life. If something isn’t done soon hospitals will start closing and people will resort to the green alcohol and mercurochrome.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

That's Not an EMERGENCY!!!

Swollen hemorrhoids are not an emergency. Oh, yes it feel like someone has shoved a glowing Kingsford briquette into your rectum and is making things worse by cooling increasing the heat with green rubbing alcohol, but you wont die from it. I guarantee it. But somehow people believe ambulance crews have to risk life and limb for minor ailments, just like that hemorrhoid, because that’s what ambulances do. I disagree. I think we could save a lot of time and money if we set some ground rules for emergencies and non-emergencies. Oh, people will be pissed off, but hey it is better to be pissed off than pissed on I say.


You are going to learn the difference between an emergency and a nonemergency.

Emergency: Loss of finger, toe, eye, leg, arm or any appendage you use daily.

Non-Emergency: Loss of pain medication, car keys, TV remote, or any other stupid item that I might hit a large deer trying to get to your house in a rush over.

Emergency: Gunshot wound to torso, head, neck, back or stomach. Notice I said torso.

Non-Emergency: Splinter to finger, butt cheek, leg, and face. Seriously!

Emergency: Respiratory Distress of any kind

Non-Emergency: Hiccups that wont stop. HELL NO under any circumstances is this an emergency. Neither is hyperventilation because your favorite dancer got voted off.

Emergency: Comas of any kind.

Non-Emergency: Slurred speech, staggered gait, equipped with boobie flashes and the nonsensical ramblings of a mother whose done shots of J├Ągermeister at her daughters wedding.

Emergency: Chilbirths were the legs are coming out first.

Non-Emergency: Condoms, vibrating eggs, or sex toys of any kind stuck inside of the patient. Nope can’t won’t stick my hand up there, aint having it.

And for those who think they have a right to call the ambulance on a whim. You have the right to go directly to the waiting room on a stretcher so you can wait with the other patients except you now have the added interest of an ambulance bill. Yay, for you!

Last but not least.

Emergency: Transport of patients from one hospital to the next because life sustaining surgery waits.

Non-Emergency: Sending a patient out for a simple test, especially in the middle of the mother of all thunderstorms, which could have waited until three days later. WTF, Seriously!


Monday, September 22, 2008

Word Game

Here is a word game. I hope you enjoy.

Free World Group


Friday, September 12, 2008

Super Collider Web Cam

Here is a link I am sure you will enjoy.



Thursday, September 11, 2008

Mind of a Realist

Sometimes I believe that people stew in their own stupidity on purpose. I believe that some people jam their heads in the soft sand because thinking hurts too much. Case in point, this Presidential Election has turned from McCain versus Obama to Palin versus Obama, because McCain doesn’t stand a rats chance in hell against Obama. And until Palin brings 200,000 Germans out to see her I will not be impressed.

The country holds its breath as Hurricane Ike decides what Gulf Coast community to destroy thus scattering refugees through the Southeast and rocketing gas prices above 120.00 per barrel.

Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae were not immune to the Bush economy but their CEO’s are as they bask in millions of dollars of severance pay.

I wonder,

If we could do September 11th all over again would we invade Iraq or would we be stomping the mountains of Afghanistan flat?

I wonder,

If gas is hovering around 100.00 per barrel why is gas still 3.51 at the gas pumps?

I know why because the Department of Interior in Denver was practically an Animal House as Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll kept government employees busy as the oil companies had free reign.

The God Particle is being sought by researchers 300 feet below the ground as the Particle Accelerator is switched on. But if you asked a 6 year old to find the same particle they would have just reached down and handed you a fist full of dirt.

Hooray for 6 year olds!

If Christ came back today do you think he would be pleased with any of his followers? Or do you think the Smite would be on?

Water Bears are the toughest species on the planet and the vessel by which we will keep our DNA alive after we kill our selves off with war and Global Warming.

Rick and Bubba tout the belief that Global Warming is real. But I guess when you are radio personalities you automatically become Geo-thermal experts. Whats next Rick and Bubba, earthquakes aren’t real, tsunamis aren’t real and wishing for death because your legs and arms are blown off from an IED isn’t real also.


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Bee Dance Video

There comes a time when words cannot express the feeling of hopelessness and despair at the disappearance of millions Billions of Honey-Bees. I will let this videos do the expressing for me.


Friday, August 22, 2008

Friday's Rant

I am a realist. A stone cold, matter-of-fact, realist that knows if the US runs out of oil the obesity problem in our country will be solved. A realist so plaintively aware, that I know that there is not a chance in hell the US would fight Iran, prevent Russia from stomping through its own territory or find a cure for anything. So why are we subjected to constant lies by the media.


They think we are mentally-retarded lambs. Ah-HA! I get it.

They think we are too stupid to think for ourselves, yeah whatever.

Also, there has been this awww moment where an illegal alien in a coma and the hospital wants to send him home…because he can’t pay his bills. So what are they going to do with the rest of the patients receiving indigent care? Exactly what they are doing to this guy and believe it or not, hospitals have been doing just that for loooong time.

That leads me to say that cash is the best health insurance.

Yep, now you know the secret of health care, stone, hard, C…A…S…H.

Pakistan’s Pervez Musharraf resigns before he is impeached. And I am wondering if we will ever find Osama. Because Musharraf most likely knew where he was and OH, he held the keys to the Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal. Now, Pakistan slowly descends into madness.

The world holds its breath.

As President Obama picks his Vice-President not that the VP really matters but there is really nothing else on TV.

Besides the Olympics but who wants to watch old news when the medal results are on the net.

That leads me to this.

Why is there this incessant belly-aching because China has a 13 year old girl competing in gymnastics? Really, we are talking about China here. The Communist country that still has forced labor re-education camps, internet censorship, executions of political prisoners and makes toys covered in lead paint? Or are we talking about the China that has the best General Tso’s chicken imaginable and has created one awesome aquatic center. Either way it goes make a deal with the devil and get the smell of sulfur in your clothes. That’s what I say.


There has been an up-tick in insurgent violence in Afghanistan.

Roadside bombs are killing more and more American soldiers everyday and the Taliban has become more aggressive. What are we to do? I hate the words, “We are winning,” because it looks like a rotten stalemate from over here.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

College Humor's:POWER THIRST 2

As the Senior Writer of The Apocalypse Papers I happen to love a good laugh. This video I have embedded is called Power Thirst 2 and it has MENERGY! Watch the video and tell me if you get a good laugh by submitting your comment below.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Five Websites of the Day

Counter Spin: I heard about this website on NPR. Counter Spin is the truth as it should be all packed into a website. If you are brainwashed by your party affiliation you will receive debriefing here.

U.S. Gas Prices: This is an interactive site. Nuff Said.

HD Wallpapers: Beautiful wallpapers for your LCD screens. There is a myriad of folders with great pictures that will make your laptop the talk of the town.

Friv: A cornucopia of flash games to waste time on. I love this site. Some of these games are mouse only and some are keyboard only. Just click and click until you find one you like.

Scam: If you ever wanted to find out if that home based business was a scam. Click this site. There are forums that coverer everything from MLM to Nigerian Email Scams.


Monday, August 18, 2008

A Lot Has Changed

As a kid growing up in the Black Belt, I watched as grown-up touted the vile, Godless nature of Communism and its controlling nature on its populace. Well, not in those words but you get the picture. I sat watching Michael Phelps swim like Flipper taking gold after gold in a Communist country that still executes its people with a bullet behind the left ear and makes the family pay for it. And I thought to myself, boy a lot has changed.

It is not that change is bad. But I believe that change is a relative event. Meaning it only applies to the current mood of the people. I think 10 years ago Ellen could not wed her girlfriend and Obama would not have had a chance in hell of becoming the Democratic nominee. Now you have city governments that are legislating fashion and a high school for gay and transgendered students. Late at night if you listen real close you can hear the dead doing summersaults in their graves. My eyes have seen a lot. And I intend to see a lot more. But where is the line drawn in the sand?

I am not espousing that I have a moral high ground, nay. I am saying where do you draw the line in the sand? Personally my line is drawn when people are allowed to marry animals. Yep, that is my line. As Americans we have broken so many social taboos I had to find one last social taboo bastion that is untouched by human hands. And the day someone is allowed to marry Fluffy or Fido, I will be the first on a picket line.


Friday, August 08, 2008

Do You Remember...

...the Pinto?

How would you like to have this rolling crematorium today? I know I would. But only after I did some rear gas tank modifications and removing out the eight track player. At 25 miles per gallon it is almost worth it. However I said, "almost." Buy one here.


Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Lame, Lame, Lame-OH

I never thought for a million-billion-trillion years I would have turned as “uncool” as my parents. I figure myself to be a progressive 30-something, who has all his teeth, no bald spots and tries to keep the weight from spiraling out of control. I think I have done pretty well myself. But there is something that really…um…how do I say this…pisses me off. Yeah, that’s the word, “pisses.” And that is some snotty nosed 15-19 year old that says lame to every associated to my age group. So I decided to turn the lame flashlight around.

There are a bunch of things that teenagers like or do, but personally, I consider really, really LAME

Piercings through the eyebrow, lips, nose, ass-meat and belly-button especially if you are a boy. Lame

Pencil-leg jeans, La, la, la lame.

Lower Back tattoos…Lame oh, God yes, after three kids and 400 Big Mac’s will it be ever so, so, so lame.

North Face Denali whatevers and you are unemployed….La ah HA Lame

Miley Cyrus…and Hanna Montana yep you guessed it…double L…A…M…E and am I the only one that thinks this kid looks creepy?

Any statement that begins, “You are too old to understand” Lame but I am old enough to do something about it. HA! Lame Again.

Teen Choice Awards….Boo, Hiccup, Lame

120 dollar disposable shoes…friggin lame and hell no I won’t be buying a pair.

High School Musical…I can’t hold my nose and type so I will just go peeeeewwwww. Lame. Grease was waaaaaay better.

EMO anything, what in the school shooting hell is that all about? They wear black because they are what…vampires, golems, spooky little snots that need an ass kicking. Lame.

Shaggy DA Bangs in the front of your head….Ruff, Ruff Lame

Sagging pants beneath your butt cheeks…now illegal but very lame first.

Ras Tafari? Haile Selassie? Don’t have a clue, well cut those dreads out of your head because they are LAME!

Walking through the mall with a 300 dollar cell phone but only 20 dollars in cash your MOM gave you…LAME.

Smoking weed, Lame as hell and how do you think a majority of you retards got here. Lame.

Flunking math, flunking English but then wanting a 200 dollar X .0.9 tax plus the gas to get to the store to buy a M…A…R…C….E…C…K…O jacket to wear around the house. Lame

Not seeing the military as an option because you are a self proclaimed peace, loving, tree hugging, go green person as you blow shit up on Halo 2 while throwing paper basketballs at your friend with the AC on full blast. Lame.

Christian Rock…Yeah, she kissed a girl and she liked it. She got some ‘splaining to do. LAME

Tiny dogs named: flutters, stutters, piffy, spankie, pootie and such. Pssst…Lame.

That freaky computer speak that MaKEs eVERYthing UpANdDowN. WatEVR HA8res. LaME.

Scoring low on the ACT and SAT and then getting upset because you can’t get a scholarship to fix tractors or even a friendly handshake. Lame.

Well I think that’s enough for now. But if you have some more lames you want to put on my blog just leave me a comment.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hello Dolly

Ladies and Gentlemen I direct your attention to a potential hurricane forming off of the Yucatan Peninsula and I could never be more annoyed than if Hurricane Chris decided to run for a Republican Senate seat. There is no possible way to stop this tropical storm from entering the warm bath water of the Gulf of Mexico. And it is in the gulf where Dolly will churn and grow almost as powerful as Hurricane Katrina. Where Dolly will head after that is anyone’s guess.

The Weather Channel, of course, has regular updates on Dolly, as well as NOAA, however I am not so concerned about the potential devastation Dolly will cause. Hurricanes, ahem, often do that. I am concerned about the magnification of automobile and diesel fuel prices after land fall. Take a look at a picture of the Gulf of Mexico looks empty…right? Well take a look at this map of the gulf. What did you see, oil rigs, shipping lanes, oil platforms, barges and so forth and so on? So I guess it is time to get the walking shoes out, dust off that old bicycle and go on a diet. Just remember look to the left of this page for oil updates and don’t forget you read it on The Apocalypse Papers first.


Thursday, July 10, 2008

I'm Old Gregg!!!

If you like to laugh this is the video for your. It contains words like, "Mangina" and "Downstairs Mix-up." This video is 10 minutes long but will leave you laughing believe me. I am still yelling, "I'm Old Gregg." This sketch comedy is from The Mighty Boosh. Hey, sometimes the monotony of adulthood has to be broken up with laughter. Have fun..."I'M OLD GREGG" HA Ha Ha Ha.


Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Atheist Soldier

Jeremy Hall is an atheist. He is also a U.S. service member who has served in Iraq. Now, the problem is, Jeremy Hall has been ostracized, criticized and threatened by his fellow service members for his personal religiousbeliefs. This in my opinion is wrong. He is protected by the First Amendment. Jeremy Hall states after two tours in Iraq he, “lost his faith.” I can understand that. But I think that if he has, “lost his faith” he should at least keep his mouth shut and blend in with the crowd, because nobody likes a loud-mouth god-less creep. Just like no one likes a loud-mouth, righteous, fire and brimstone quoting, proselytizing, church bigot. It is difficult enough to observe and participate in the horrors of war.

Combat has done a lot of things to a lot of men and women. Some will return home from battle and live a normal life. Some will return broken and heavily medicated. And some will never come home at all because bombs sometimes completely vaporize human flesh. During wartime the only escape from the guilt is to try to cultivate an inner peace, because combat is dirty and the brutality of man is in high-definition and uncensored. This cultivation often comes at the end of a sermon given by a Chaplin. It is a comfort to those who need it. If Jeremy didn’t need religious peace he should respected those who did. Me personally, I never attended Sunday service during Desert Shield/Storm. However I did find, “Foxhole Religion.” I never forget that smoke-filled night. We were dug-in and under fire by the Republican Guard (yes the Republican Guard did fight.)I remember praying as AK-47 rounds and scud missiles flew willy-nilly around the battle field, “Please Jesus, just let me kill every mother fucker that is wearing the wrong uniform…Amen.” My squad leader who was crouched down beside me whispered, “That goes for me too Lord.” I respect Jeremy’s right for religious freedom. But I think he is irresponsible for his actions.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Five INSANE News Stories

I deplore megalomaniacal rants by puritanical, self-righteous bigots who think they secrete strawberry-scented feces. I prefer criminally-dirty rants like Foamy the Squirrel, Hail Foamy. I want a rant that is scathing but succinct, factual and objective. So when I decided to write this rant-like entry I thought of all the news topics and blog entries that made me do a double take and go…What? And the entire week has been a roller coaster of “whats.”

5.Tweaker Goes on Murder Spree.

Eight people died as a result of this Meth-addicted mans rampage. They were as old as 93 and as young as a toddler. If you are a Meth-addict, “You SUCK.” And the cops were surprised because this was out of character for this waste of human space. He should be dressed in a mini-skirt and thrown in a cell with those who haven’t seen a woman in years so he can be humped to death.

4.Teen Looses Head over Hat

Six Flags over Georgia is an awesome place to work. I should know I worked there for four years. This amusement park strives to maintain a family atmosphere and beauty. There are safety classes, safety briefings, safety posters, safety drills and safety gear. There are safety inspections, safety personnel and safety stations. But there is one thing Six Flags over Georgia has invented or possesses and that is a spray to stop stupid. Every ride in the park clearly direct riders to secure all loose items. But, if you hop several fences, ignore every sign and subsequently get your head lopped clean off you deserve it.

3. Mugabe steals election

Imagine being able to do whatever you want to whoever you
want, any time day or night with total impunity. You have a country for a playground an army for muscle and all the money, gold and diamonds, you could imagine. However, if you lose the election the populace will seek revenge. You and your sympathizers will be summarily executed in the most violent and creative of ways. If you were Mugabe, would you allow this to happen….of course not.

2.Medical Helicopters Collide in Broad Daylight

I have been in my fair share of helicopters. I have experienced several mishaps and numerous near misses. But what I don’t understand is how two, 2, dos, helicopters could collide in broad daylight. Let me set this up. Medical helicopters are restricted from flying in less than ideal conditions, i.e. low cloud cover, fog, rain or a combination thereof. So someone had to be goofing off.

1.Skyrocketing Health Care Cost

Imagine that even with health care insurance many hospital procedures are still too expensive. Well…believe it or not this happens in America almost every day of almost every hour on the hour. It’s like this. The insured suffers an injury and needs treatment. After the crisis has passed and the patient is better, a hemorrhoid is cultivated by the greedy hands of the hospital and the dirty man-tool of the insurance company. Because the insurance plan only pays 60 to 80 percent of a previously agreed upon discounted price. The customer then has to pay the balance between what was billed and what was paid. This could mean thousands of dollars. Where is medical transparency when you need it?


Sunday, June 29, 2008

Unique Website of The Day

I am a stumbler and I stumble a whole lot, more than I actually should. And during my writer's block moments I find quite a lot of dead websites that need to be erased from the web, the webmaster flogged and the hosting server torched and then there are some sites that need an award. Go ahead click the title link. I am sure you will be pleased.
This image found on wiki media commons


Friday, June 27, 2008

Pictures of Dubai

What do you get when you mix cheap labor, 140.00 per barrel oil and people who absolutely reek of Euros? One word…Dubai. This was a place that was just sand and coastline only 20 years ago and if you look at Dubai now you don't have to wonder where all the money comes from. Obviously, Dubai is not on my list of must see before I die. Simply put, because when I do, and I will, become fantastically wealthy, Dubai sits too close to Iran and Oman and who knows when those two countries decide that Dubai is too decadent for its own good and BAM it's all reduced to goat-land with a Mosque planted in the middle. Here are some pictures.


Thursday, June 26, 2008

Top 5 Brain Games

The links below are not your average brain teaser games. No sir. These activities are designed to test brain function and believe me they are waaaaaay harder than they look. After a couple of test I felt clinically retarded. Yep. Surely did. But hey look on the bright side the more tests you take the greater your mental acuity. At least that is what Confucius says.

Try this for instance

A blind beggar had a brother who died. What relation was
the blind beggar to the brother who died?
"Brother" is not the answer.

Who was the blind beggar?

Feeling retarded yet, if not take these test below.

Test 1 The Stroops Test

Test 2 The Senses Test

Test 3 The Tower of Hanoi

Test 4 Memocoly AKA Simon on steroids

Test 5 Games for the Brain


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

SNL Mirror Skit

I have been a SNL fan since they were in a comedy club. And every now and again a skit comes along that just makes me almost piss my pants with laughter. The embedded skit below is called the, “Mirror Skit" and it was found on YouTube. The skit is a parody, what SNL skit isn't, of horror movies that always show the [insert scary thing here] in the mirror as a way to startle the audience into a complete frenzy. Enjoy.


Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Top 20 Mobi Sites

If you own a “Smart Phone” then you more than likely have the internet. I love my Blackjack, even though this is my third one, but finding the right sites for my phone almost drove me mad. So I decided to go on a little mission and this is what I found after culling Cantoni Mobi’s list down. I didn't make each site a hyperlink just in case you wanted to try them out on your phone while reading this blog entry.





















These are just a few of the sites that I frequent with my pain in the assPDA. These sites load fast and have minimal bells and whistles. Have fun.


Monday, June 23, 2008

How to Find a Good Eatery

If there is one thing I hate more than bad advertising is a bad restaurant with great advertising. And I have been duped more than my fair share by the shiny lights and catchy jingles that have preceded wilted lettuce, watered down drinks, grumpy waitresses and half-cooked chicken. Even thought I am not tricked as often, I am still occasionally fall for the coin behind the ear.

I am like most people. I often visit restaurants that have an established food standard and menus that rarely change. But every now and then I get a wild hair up my posterior that causes me to stray badly. It starts by a yearning for something different as my insane explorer side takes over. So I sit down and try to decide by surfing the internet and reading reviews of the different local eateries, wrong move. Surfing for a restaurant is like test driving a car you found in the newspaper by flapping the pages. But after years of hitting and missing like a Ford with bad cylinders, I have realized something…I have been going at it all wrong.

First, restaurants that have that certain je ne sais quoi do not need much introduction; their customers speak for the quality of their food. They often have an abundance of customers that are loyal and are fat professional eaters. This restaurant will not be found on the front page of any culinary magazine, nor do they care. They have excellent service as well as awesome food. These restaurants are true diamonds in the wood pile and they do not use the phrase je ne sais quoi.

In order to find these gastronomical diamonds you have to go on a physical search. This search includes driving around the restaurants that offer your favorite style of food and waiting for the noon or 7:00pm rush. If there isn’t a rush, then more than likely there isn’t much to the eatery. If there is a rush, look at the age of the crowd, the physical size of all parties in the crowd and if there are any families. The rationale is because young people are often weight conscious and that equates to boneless, skinless, fat free cardboard cut-outs of chicken and steaks, skinny people eat skinny people food which equates to a huge salad bar with vegetables galore, fake bacon bits and fat-free salad-flavored water, and if there are a lot of families then there is a variety of food. However the presence of older people is a plus. They represent reasonable prices and fatprofessional eaters are a gold star because they mean the food is flavorful and abundant. So look for the fat old people.

Next, walk up to the restaurant and inhale. Can you smell the food? You can’t imagine the restaurants I have been to where there is absolutely no odor coming from the exhaust. Like an idiot I went inside and the food was just as odor-free and tasteless. And that has happened a lot. But there have been restaurants that have made me drive in circles until I found the origin of that wondrous smell.

Lastly, go inside the restaurant. Who said you had to eat a full meal? Order a drink and a cheap appetizer. This is where a decision can be adequately made. I have very rarely had a bad appetizer and a great meal or vice versa because both are born in the same kitchen. Notice everything about the restaurant, look at the waiters and waitresses are they busy or on their cell phones. Slowly eat your appetizer and look at the meals being served. This should give you a full picture of what is going on. I know you are asking, “Who has the time for this?” And I say, “You do.” Because there is nothing worse than paying for a horrible meal and the gas it took to get there.


Sunday, June 22, 2008

12 Things Paramedics Know

If you want to know what the quality of life means ask someone who has a couple of months to live. They will give you an unabashed and guilt-free answer to what it means to be alive. Because with every breath they take they have one less to give. EMS is composed of people with that quality of life mentality. Paramedics and EMT’s are professionals who have a stark look at life. Because there is nothing more eye opening than seeing some one who is tip-top shape, perfect physique, low cholesterol and awesome blood pressure get killed by a bus filled with fat people and their greasy fast food bags. So here are the ten things Paramedics know, but won’t tell you willingly.

12. Life is more precious than you can ever imagine.

11. The quality of life is inherently more important that the quantity of life.

10. Darwin was right, natural selection does work. Because the addict that abuses Meth, Cocaine or Oxycotin eventually exits the gene pool with a startled expression on their faces.

9. Dead people sometimes have startled expressions on their faces.

8. There is a 1:1 chance that you will die, period.

7. Our elderly citizens are our greatest resources.

6. Marijuana smokers started as cigarette smokers first.

5. Properly fitted seatbelts save lives, airbags work and will sometimes break your nose but neither matter if you are thrown out of the car.

4. Respite for the caretaker is just as important as taking care of a loved one.

3. Addicted crack smokers will qualify for disability faster than the person who has worked all their lives and really needs it.

2. The bottom graduating medical student in a graduating class is still called, “Doctor.”

1. Not all hospitals are created equal.


Friday, June 13, 2008

Legal Limit Waistlines

Can you imagine your insurance company penalizing you if your waistline exceeded legal healthy limits? Or could you imagine your employer making you pay a higher premium on your health insurance because you had the dreaded, “Muffin-Top” or “Dunn-Lap Disease”? If any sort of legislation passed like that in the U.S there would be a raucous cheer thrown up by ever Paramedic with a bad back. But believe it or not…such legislation exists…in Japan. Yes in the land of tiny cell phones, Godzilla and scrumptious but creepy Geisha there is a policy that men and women between the ages of 40 and 74 had to meet a certain size in their waistline.

This article was found in the Asia-Pacific section of the New York Times and written by Norimitsu Onishi

Under a national law that came into effect two months ago, companies and local governments must now measure the waistlines of Japanese people between the ages of 40 and 74 as part of their annual checkups. That represents more than 56 million waistlines, or about 44 percent of the entire population.
Those exceeding government limits — 33.5 inches for men and 35.4 inches for women, which are identical to thresholds established in 2005 for Japan by the International Diabetes Federation as an easy guideline for identifying health risks — and having a weight-related ailment will be given dieting guidance if after three months they do not lose weight. If necessary, those people will be steered toward further re-education after six more months…

So Japan has figured out that fat people are costing them money with their sweaty necks and size 36 pants. But the real kicker is that there are people that are against this effort to save money and make the Japanese population healthier. However there are people who are against a healthy population.

critics say that the government guidelines — especially the one about male waistlines — are simply too strict and that more than half of all men will be considered overweight. The effect, they say, will be to encourage overmedication and ultimately raise health care costs.
Yoichi Ogushi, a professor at Tokai University’s School of Medicine near Tokyo and an expert on public health, said that there was “no need at all” for the Japanese to lose weight.
“I don’t think the campaign will have any positive effect. Now if you did this in the United States, there would be benefits, since there are many Americans who weigh more than 100 kilograms,” or about 220 pounds, Mr. Ogushi said. “But the Japanese are so slender that they can’t afford to lose weight.”

These people also probably believe that smoking is a great stress reliever. But anyway you dice it, Japan has the right idea. But you can read the article by clicking the link in the title. If we had a healthier population there would be cheaper health care and fewer deaths from over consumption. But hey that’s just my opinion.


Friday, June 06, 2008

Hillary's Sore Losers

The Democratic Nominee is Senator Barak Obama. He is an advocate for change. And we all know that change is need in the American political arena. Personally, I would vote for Satan himself if it meant I would get a break at the pumps or the price of food would go south. But the truth of the matter is, Satan is not running, Obama has won the nomination and Hillary has lost. However there are some Hillary supporters that would rather vote for Senator McCain than Obama. Go ahead; click the title link for their site. You will be amazed at the level of retardation some people possess. And I think they are the worse kind of voter imaginable. What madness.


Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Pictures of Pedophiles

The law is the law. When an adult has improper contract with a child, charges must be filed and the person removed from society. However, if you are a female and the child is male charges are not always applied fairly. If you are guy and perform the same horrible act, then the entire leather bound book of jurisprudence is lobbed at your head. See for yourself…click the link in the title of this post.This was found on College Bars, check them out.


Monday, June 02, 2008

Almost Flipping Ninja

If ever was a video that makes me replay and replay and replay it would be this one. Just look how Ninja-boy just staggers after almost knocking himself out.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

2008 Atlantic Hurricanes Names List

There are two days left until the start of the 2008 Atlantic Hurricane Season. I shutter, literally shutter, to think what the price of gas is going to be when the first inkling of a storm is birthed off the west coast of Africa or the tip of the Yucatan. If I had the extra cash I would invest in oil myself. So here is the list of names below. And for my Gulf Coast readers…get ready. The free photo above is from a great site named Free Artistic Photos, please give them a visit.



Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Five Reasons McCain Cannot Win

A political strategist I am not. Politics to me is one of the most necessary evils on the face of the planet and I prefer not to be a part of evil. However the climate for necessary political change is in the air. Because with political change comes civil and military change. And change is so desperately what America needs right now. If you are not agreeing with me at this very moment, the rest of this blog entry is not for you. We complain incessantly about the price of energy, which has garnered more media frontage than the war in Iraq by the way, we complain about the price of food, and we complain about our ability to remain healthy but we have not made any strides to change any of the aforementioned. This is where politics come in. That manipulative art form that lulls voters into a false sense of reality and then BANG hits them with the truth but sadly McCain just won’t belly up to the truth.

5. 100 years in Iraq. When the U.S Army is enlisting soldiers so old that they should be at home playing with their grandkids something is amiss. There are already soldiers doing their 5th tours in-country as we speak. This Iraq war has become a virtual stalemate and the Senator needs to realize that. In order to keep fighting the bad fight, America would need more boots on the ground. And after exhausting our military supply of fresh young bodies, who do you send to fight next, third graders? The only plausible answer is the draft. And the word draft would send young rich kids scrambling across the border to Canada.

4. It’s about the economy. That all powerful money-driven beast that keeps our country afloat and McCain said he knew less about the economy than he did about the military. All this and we are in a RECESSION! Effective leadership has to be a jack of all trades, but has to have to common sense to hire the masters.

3. The need for a strong, friendly, foreign policy. Well, well, you can’t fight everyone who is in opposition of your opinion. We cannot attack Canada because they are first in North America, nor can we attack Australia because Great White Sharks live there. Think diplomacy first, warfare last.

2. Generation Gap. We are a YouTube generation, wireless, broadband, laptop generation. The President should understand popular culture because millions of his voters arise from this pool. I understand that LBJ was a good President so was JFK, but can you believe most voters could not tell you what those previous acronyms are about or what each of those men actually stood for.

1. Gas Prices. At this time of this blog posting it is 135.00 per barrel. That translates to, F*%KING HIGH at the pumps and the reason why there is corn planted all through the Deep South. If there is not a credible solution to our gas crisis besides drilling in the Alaskan wilderness then there is no reason to run for office. We are a country that lives on our gas tanks. Any assault on our fuel price should be considered a terrorist threat. Thus I approve of attacking the OPEC cartel.


Monday, May 26, 2008

Support Your Local Paramedic

I always say, being pissed off is better than being pissed on. And boy, am I pissed off. I hate sounding whiney and I really don’t like to complain. Because I have a solemn belief that if you are comfortable with misery you are destined to make it to the top (that aforementioned belief made me manager at 6 different ambulance services and Vice-President at a seventh.) But something has to be said about the Paramedic exodus that is taking place right under the noses of the general public. This exodus places the public at an extreme risk because who is going to arrive at your home when you have your first heart attack.

I don’t like talking about my job as a Paramedic (capital P). I respect the ability of the 911 caller to remain stupid forever and ever amen. I have seen my fair share of tragedy, pain, suffering, and the evilness of humans to kill their children and set the house on fire to cover the crime. My walkabout through this invigorating and personality consuming job has stratified my soul and sharpened my temperament. My career at one time reinforced a belief that God did not exist and that the Devil was on a road trip, high on Columbian white-flake, smashing and grabbing souls across this great land. But my point of view has changed for the better.

However I digress, the reason I am pissed off is that the major responsibility of reducing morbidity and mortality, under extreme duress and insane hours are heaped upon the EMT and no one, and I do mean no one, cares…hence my pissy-tude. I have survived 20 years in the field, one divorce, one major job-induced surgery, and a war. And the most ambulance services will only pay me, is a measly 12.00 dollars per hour. 10 million dollars worth of experience…12.00 dollars per hour, nationally recognized EMS instructor…12.00 dollars per hour, 14 years of EMS management…12.00 dollars an hour. Now, if you think for a hot-second, that I am working for 12.00 an hour you’re completely insane. But this is what the new Medics are facing. 1980’s wages for a comparable job that pays 28.00-30.00 dollars in a hospital, in a controlled atmosphere, with security roaming the halls all wrapped in comfy scrub pants. New medics are jumping the fence to nursing in droves. And the ones that haven’t will shortly.

So how is the shortage of Paramedics going to affect you? There are less people caught in the vapors of a fast ambulance, the wail of a siren and the thrill of possibly saving a life. Simply put, EMS is imploding. The emergency response walls are falling in all over this country; there are manpower shortages, leakages to nursing, and people who aren’t stupid enough to fall for the “you’ll be a hero” spiel. That means longer response times for you, the under trained will arrive at your door (because most EMS programs will hand feed those who wouldn’t other wise make it) and very poor service. Yes, Paramedics would rather go home at night and make a decent wage instead of getting punished over and over again, thus the good Medics are making the leap to nursing and you dear reader are left with the bad ones.


Monday, May 19, 2008

Advice for the 08' High School Senior

May is the season for High School 08’ seniors across the country to receive their diplomas. There will be teary-eyed Mothers as they remember their kids first day of school and Dads going, “Whew it’s finally over.” This almost religious ceremony consist of a keynote speaker, a valedictorian speaker, the principal speaking, diplomas passed to the right hand as the graduate takes pictures and expensive mortarboards flung carelessly into the air followed by hugs at the end. Now after this ceremony some facts are evident…some graduates will get pregnant, some graduates will be impregnating, some graduates will get drunk and some will sadly die. And it happens every year. Oh joy. But for those graduates who made it through life, relatively unscathed, a little heavier and a whole lot wiser what advice can you offer the new graduates without sounding like a complete idiot? Well, I have taken the liberty to list some conversation starters.

10. Just finishing high school isn’t enough. A high school education opens doors to places you wouldn’t have access to if you did not have one. But to make a decent living continue your education.

9. The military is an option. Some parents count this option out but if you want to make money, meet others your age and be around other self-starters…this is the place. I know Iraq is dangerous but so is underage drinking and buying dope in a bad neighborhood.

8. Don’t wait until fall. Being out of school or not having a focused path will only grow moss under your feet. Have somewhere to go after high school and that does not mean the beaches of Mexico.

7. Be different. Don’t let the crowd decide what you should do. Seniors all over the country fall into this trap all the time. Just because your friends want to sit out a year doesn’t mean you should.

6. Move. Staying in one place is almost a death knell for anyone’s future. The same people doing the same thing over and over again can ruin anyone’s psyche.

5. Choose your college path carefully Prerequisites and core classes are what you will be dealing with your first two years of college. Worry about your major later.

4. Find a part-time job to fill any monetary short comings. The free days have ended it is time to get a job. Can you say, ‘Welcome to McDonalds.”

3. Start working on your resume now. Volunteering to help in a possible career choice helps you get an understanding of the field you are choosing.

2. One Tree Hills is a lie. There won’t be any hand holding because you are sad, people don’t care if your friends die, or if you are having a bad day… get used to it.

1. Birth Control/HIV protection is readily available. Do I need to say more.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Stupid Test

Oh, you are going to love this test. This test has a meter that drops as you get questions wrong.I truly loved playing this game. Play if you dare. Click the title to get widgets like this for your own blog.

The Stupid Test


Monday, May 12, 2008

Ten Sure Ways to Win the US Presidency in 08’

All too often the common sense God gave a Mule is overshadowed by the sheer magnitude of partisan politics when it comes to winning the Presidential election. But I have the key to win, right here in this blog. And believe me if either Obama or McCain is willing or able to make the hard decisions and choose just 5 of these simple ways I am sure they will breeze right into the White House.

10. Create a true economic stimulus plan.

I don’t mean give taxpayers money so they can spend it, even though I am getting a new air-conditioning unit out of the Bush White House, I mean jobs are good. Stable life-sustaining jobs are even better. And yes, working at McDonald's is considered a job, only if you are 15 and living at home. Our fellow Americans need jobs so they can buy health insurance and provide for their families. Show us how you intend to bring back industry and the voters will beat a path to your door.

9. Show us how to disengage, albeit proudly, from Iraq.

You cannot criminalize yawning or jealousy. You cannot put a tax on love and you defiantly cannot fight a religious movement to resist the occupying infidels, P.S we are the occupying infidels, regardless of what the spin-masters say. There is a lot at stake, there thousands of American dead and tens of thousands of American wounded. Tomorrow, there will be interference from Iran in Iraqi affairs. The day after that there will be even more American casualties and the day after that even more Iraqi soldiers will abandon their post. Show us how you intend to pull out with grace and pride.

8. Show us a feasible Health care Plan.

Let’s face it; there are people who consider any help from the government a form of welfare. Mind you, government back student loans, Pell grants, farmer subsidies and corporate bailouts in their opinion are not. How stupid is that? Sorry for the rambling, where was I, oh yes. Possessing quality, and I do stress quality health care, is the difference between life and death…literally. Don’t believe me, show up at an ER without insurance and get treated like a cockroach-encrusted turd. The health care workers raises depend on the ability of the patient to pay. If you don’t have insurance…they all hate you. Make an affordable insurance, place caps on treatments, punish offending doctors, nurses and insurance companies for bad behavior and the Oval Office is yours.

7. Show us how you intend to control Immigration.

Okay, this is a hot button issur. The Republicans want to throw every Mexican, legal or not, singing Himno Nacional Mexicano back across the border. The Democrats want to embrace the Hispanic population. But the fact remains, what do you do? Easy, increase fines to astronomical levels for undocumented workers. Deport all persons who are not citizens and not in possession of legal worker status. Make only the legal workers children born in the US…US citizens. Make legal workers liable for taxes and obtain a temporary SSN for tracking purposes. The point is there is no easy answer for this. Either choice made is going to piss someone off. But show us how.

6. Show us how you intend to educate our Children.

America develops and implements technology so fast, the rest of the world has to keep up with us…with the exception of Japan. So why is it we are having gang fights, school shootings and teacher improprieties against students. I am tired of private schools touting their benefit to society when public schools are funded better. Do something different. Start over, fire some teachers, jail some parents and put God back in the classroom. Oh and classify the Atheist as a spiritual terrorist that will certainly stop the lawsuits.

5. Show us your war face.

Can you answer the red phone at 3:00am? Can you send missile strikes with impunity then roll over and go back to sleep. Or will you be so indecisive that you hesitate and the bad guy gets a jump on America. I don’t mean attack Idaho for something Pakistan has done because the terrorist went to Idaho for vacation once back in the early 80’s. I mean can you use the Military option with gangsta precision? Tell us when and how.

4. Publicly acknowledge global warming and your plan to fix it.

Melting polar ice and insane hurricanes…nuff said. Get to fixing the problem.

3. Show us your plan to ease the tax burden on, “Average American.”

Republican’s love tax cuts, as long as they are for people in the upper income brackets. Democrats love raising taxes for programs that don’t work and build a social dependence. Espouse your happy medium and get ready to take the oath.

2. Detail your plan to stir competitive research in alternative energy.

Most people feel that because their lifespan is too short to care about energy cost. Okay, well let’s put it this way. You are creating a disease that is making your life easier but is going to murder your children in the distant future; and they are too young to comprehend the ramifications of your actions. When they get older, that disease you designed has manifested and is making them ill, they are going broke poor trying to get well and then eventually your disease kills your kids real good. Are we on the same page? Show us how you intend to make life easier for our future.

1.How do you intend to reduce the cost and dependence on oil?

We can design war vehicles that can drive by themselves, X-Planes go into space on a tight budget and the entire country is going digital in 09, and you mean to tell me we can’t find an energy source that will put OPEC in the red. For goodness sake the average computer user has access to satellite images from Google and can shop for goods and services online while naked as the day they were born. Let China, India and Russia have the oil; show us how we can commute to work without filling up our vehicles at 4.00 per gallon.


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Voodoo Chile---Blues Version

If you are a Jimi Hendrix will appreciate his blues take on one of the most famous songs in American Rock...even though it is his song. Enjoy!


Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Just One Hurricane

I am watching the news and I suddenly came up with a revelation of sorts. This revelation hinges on the fact that hurricane season is right around the corner and if the price of oil waxes and wanes on sabotage on a pipeline in Nigeria, a Fed cut in our key interests rate or the Euro spikes once again…what in the hell is the price of oil going to reach if a hurricane approaches the Gulf of Mexico. This does not bode well for the home team. We live in a speculative economy where the slightest inkling that a product or service could be reduced would send prices spiraling out of normal consumer range. If you don’t believe me say: Tickle Me Elmo, PlayStation 3, and Guitar Hero 3. Where Christmas shortages produced panic buying at 500 percent of the toys normal cost. So what does one do? Really, how do you survive when American food prices are climbing and it will soon, real soon, be too expensive to drive? Well, I have a solution and clicking the link in the title of this blog will give you details.
Yes, a hurricane will approach the Gulf of Mexico…hurricanes have always approached the gulf. But the price of fuel nationwide has never hinged on this fact as it does now. Well, the point to this blog entry is to prepare my readers. Now, while things are still cheap…I would, because I am, stocking up on fuel sensitive items such as, cooking oil, motor oil, charcoal (you have to cook), propane fuel and making use of empty space for canned goods in your home. Sounds like the Apocalypse huh? Well sort of but the point is to be prepared. I didn’t say get matching black track suits and wait for the mothership to pick you up. I was advising that milk is 4.00 a gallon, cooking oil is 3.00 a bottle and one major weather event will place them out of your reach. But hey look on the good side we will all lose some weight with all the walking, meal reductions and such.


Saturday, May 03, 2008

May 2nd AMR Paramedic Strike Ends…Amicably

This article appears in the online version of the Daily News Los Angeles. It was reported on May 1 2008 by Jerry Berrios, Staff Writer.

The strike involving nearly 300 paramedics and emergency medical technicians in the Antelope, Santa Clarita and San Gabriel valleys has ended.
AMR, a private ambulance company that contracts with Los Angeles County, and the International Association of EMTs and Paramedics came to a tentative labor agreement Wednesday night.
"The strike is over," said AMR spokesman Jason Sorrick. "Our employees are coming back to work. We are moving forward, and we will continue to provide the best emergency service to the citizens we serve."
According to AMR, the agreement calls for employees' wages to increase by 20 percent over the next four years, retroactive to November 2007. The company also will not make any changes to employee health-care benefits through December.
"I believe that the contract is fair and equitable," said Matthew Levy, national director of the IAEP.
Levy said the contract addresses most of the workers' concerns. Instead of the 6 percent annual raise workers wanted, they are getting 5 percent. Instead of having AMR the company paying 80 percent of health-care costs, it AMR is paying 75 percent of the premium employee health-care plan.
"It was worthwhile as we got some of the concessions we wanted," Levy said.
The workers went on strike at 8 a.m. Monday. Pickets gathered at the AMR stations in Lancaster and Irwindale. AMR brought in employees from other areas of California, Oregon and Missouri to operate ambulances.
The majority of the employees returned to work Thursday and the remainder will come back to work today.
County officials monitored the strike through conference calls with AMR management and others, e-mail with firefighters and verifying ambulance worker credentials at area hospitals.
"We are very pleased that the work action is over," said Cathy Chidester, acting director of L.A. County's Emergency Medical Services Agency. "We think it was handled well by all affected parties."

It goes to show what Paramedics can do when they wiggle in a collective fashion. Good job guys from The Apocalypse Papers!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tuskegee Experiment and Reverend Wright

I bet Obama could hear the rooster crow for a second time as Reverend Wright took liberty to associate the possible creation, rise and distribution of HIV with the devious 40 year Tuskegee experiment. Yes, the Tuskegee Experiment on uneducated African American Men was a national tragedy, a national crime and a national shame. I personally escorted one of the survivors to the Presidential apology and have seen patients wither away from AIDS. Yes the spread of HIV could have been stemmed if it was not for Ronald Regan being asleep at the helm. Personally I do not believe HIV is a manufactured disease, like Wright, but I do believe the virus could have been controlled. We have learned so much since then, we have learned that experimenting on minorities is wrong and not stopping epidemics because of a pseudo-moral high ground is bad. However we are still making mistakes like attacking the wrong country because of 9/11 and not implementing stop gap measures when it comes to using corn for fuel.


AMR Employees Strike Looms on May 2

Paramedics in California do not want your sympathy; they want a fair and equitable wage so they can afford healthcare premiums and not qualify for food stamps. I don’t think this is asking for too much. As a veteran Paramedic I know what my fellow Medics are experiencing. Year after year, more and more advanced skills are added to our repertoire of life saving techniques but our pay remains the same. The ambulance services want you to run hard, document properly, and transport, transport, transport. They do not want complaints or complainers or increase the pay scale. I applaud the 300 union members. Don’t stop until you get what you want. It is sad that Medics are abandoning the ambulance services for nursing so they can make a good wage and not work as hard as a bonus. Hell, it takes 2 years to be a Paramedic and 2 years to be a RN; now do the math. A Medic makes 10.50-18.00 an hour out of school; the RN makes 26.00-35.00 an hour. Which one would you choose? Besides nurses don’t carry morbidly obese patient down steps, recover mangled body parts or venture into crack houses looking for seizure patients. They only stop at motorcycle wrecks to lend assistance and call 911 for the…you guessed it, the Paramedics….contrary to the Johnson and Johnson commercial. Believe me, I would hang drugs, turn patients, do am and pm care and then chart all day if it meant I didn’t have to see one more patient mangled beyond recognition or miss one more school play.
Now, I think the pending strike is a “Low Press” event, because the public does not know what jobs EMT’s actually perform, they honestly believe we are a nonessential part of Public Safety. We don’t possess the neat regalia of leather and helmets, or gun belts and body armor. So Paramedics are practically invisible.

In current events, A Paramedic lost her right arm while responding to a call. The ambulance she was riding in hit a parked vehicle on the side of the road. Her name is Bonnie Ames she lost it responding on a call. Donate, I did.

In current events, Paramedics and EMT’s are scouring the grounds in Virginia after the night of Tornados. They will be tired, focused and committed to their job. There will be no sleep, there will only be pain and some of those Medics have families and children who need help with homework and

Every time SWAT goes to a stand off, Fire Fighters fall off a ladder or a drunken Physician wrecks their car you can find a Paramedic. Wreck your SUV press the blue OnStar button and OnStar calls Paramedics, press your call alert button because you slid out of bed, alert company Paramedics, slip on a sidewalk and break your leg, have a stroke, bursitis flares up, overdose on Lortab, Paramedic, Paramedic, Paramedic, Paramedic…are you getting the picture. Let’s face it we are a necessary evil. I know we are as innocuous as a television remote, but if you can’t find us, just like a remote, there is desperate search and just like the remote we can change things rather quickly. And for these facts alone there should be a consensus for those 300 Medics in California. AMR pay them, give them their pay increase and a break on the health insurance they need deserve it.