Thursday, August 31, 2006

Death of the Boogey Man

This man is not my enemy. I do not know him. I have never met him. But I can relate to him deep, deep within the very essence my parental existence. His name is Jonathon Edington aged 29. He is the father of a 2 year old. You see. This man is a murderer by definition. He became one by slipping quietly through his sleeping neighbor’s window. In his hand was a sharp knife. In his heart was anger. Like a Ninja he crept slowly and methodically until he stood over his quarry. And with a flick of his wrist, he stabbed. He stabbed. He stabbed. And his neighbor was no more. This quiet previously law abiding lawyer delivered a blow for his daughter no court system could ever deliver. Then climbed out of the window and went home.

The real question is what would you the reader do? Would you let the law handle it? Or would you confront the person who did it? Or would you the reader have the testicular fortitude to do what Jonathon did? The thought of something happening like that to my children makes me shudder. I know there would be a cell waiting on me at Kilby Correctional or Atmore. And honestly I don’t care. Because a message needs to be sent loud and clear that when you molest people’s children you suffer a fate reserved solely for rabid dogs. Thus saving the tax payer a lot of money and lowering pedophilia crimes by the straight fear of being Jonathonized.

When I saw the news on CNN I stood up and cheered. Because too often the guiltiest of offenders hire the best attorneys, and then manipulate the legal system until they are either freed or their sentences are reduced. Jonathon Edington skirted this issue. There will be no appeals. No DNA evidence. No child psychiatrist probing a 2 year olds mind. There’ll be no “Breaking News” alerts on the Edington trial. The only thing that will happen is that the knife he will use will be collected into evidence. There will be articles written extensively on why Jonathon did what he did. But the truth of the matter is…the boogey man is dead and will never awake. That is what daddies do. Kill the boogey man. And Jonathon did it like a pro.


Sunday, August 27, 2006

Friday, August 18, 2006

Running Towards a 10K

At 37 years of age I am contemplating running Atlanta's 10k, on July 4 2007. Not that I couldn’t finish that darn race. But I would probably be somewhere in the back, next to the leper runners, but well before the runners who just got out of their hospital beds. This 10 k will be run in the Southern July heat. Imagine 6 miles of humidity, Atlanta concrete, asphalt hills, convection oven sky scraper windows and copious amounts of sweat to your nether regions. The thought alone furrows my brow.

See, I used to be an overweight two-pack-a-day smoker, and when I quit (thanks Zyban) I gained close to 50 MORE pounds. My battle to remove the flab has been loud and bodacious at times and soft and whimpering at others. I have gone through a myriad of weight loss options. Some have worked, some have not. In all honestly you cannot sit on your buttocks and lose weight. There is no pill, cream, lotion or powder that will do it. You have to get moving. So my choice was running, because walking does absolutely nothing. Part of my motivation belongs to the Barnhills Buffet next to my gym and all the portly people in their tight clothes headed to feast, which made me run even FASTER and the majority of my motivation has been my children.

In the beginning the only change I could see was swollen ankles and that my Motrin consumption had increased. Then the results started. My pants became looser, my stamina increased and my girl friend…well let’s just say enjoyed the change. I began to consume every tip and technique for running beginners. After trial and many, many errors, I finally settled on a fairly simple regime of hydration, nutrition and stretching. I also found out that if you run you do not have to diet, believe it or not.

A simple formula helped me and it goes like this: take your weight, divide it by 2.2 then multiply the result by 33 formula here.This will tell you how many calories you need to maintain your current weight. Just reduce your calorie requirement by 20 percent (regular soda to water, chicken strips but fat free ranch dressing) and POW weight loss. Add this with running…more weight loss.

But my true problem is my run time. I run at least three times a week varying the distance of my run. But the time remains the same (one hour). I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never run as fast as a 98 pound Kenyan, because I am neither Kenyan or secondly will never be 98 pounds. So that means I have no chance in a fat mans hell of crossing the finish line first…unless it is on an ambulance. But I would like to finish. That to be would be the ultimate in my fitness success, from ex-smoker to 10k runner. Sounds like a book deal. Wish me luck!