Hello Dolly

Ladies and Gentlemen I direct your attention to a potential hurricane forming off of the Yucatan Peninsula and I could never be more annoyed than if Hurricane Chris decided to run for a Republican Senate seat. There is no possible way to stop this tropical storm from entering the warm bath water of the Gulf of Mexico. And it is in the gulf where Dolly will churn and grow almost as powerful as Hurricane Katrina. Where Dolly will head after that is anyone’s guess.

The Weather Channel, of course, has regular updates on Dolly, as well as NOAA, however I am not so concerned about the potential devastation Dolly will cause. Hurricanes, ahem, often do that. I am concerned about the magnification of automobile and diesel fuel prices after land fall. Take a look at a picture of the Gulf of Mexico looks empty…right? Well take a look at this map of the gulf. What did you see, oil rigs, shipping lanes, oil platforms, barges and so forth and so on? So I guess it is time to get the walking shoes out, dust off that old bicycle and go on a diet. Just remember look to the left of this page for oil updates and don’t forget you read it on The Apocalypse Papers first.

~Vale~

2008 Atlantic Hurricanes Names List

There are two days left until the start of the 2008 Atlantic Hurricane Season. I shutter, literally shutter, to think what the price of gas is going to be when the first inkling of a storm is birthed off the west coast of Africa or the tip of the Yucatan. If I had the extra cash I would invest in oil myself. So here is the list of names below. And for my Gulf Coast readers…get ready. The free photo above is from a great site named Free Artistic Photos, please give them a visit.

Arthur
Bertha
Cristobal
Dolly
Edouard
Fay
Gustav
Hanna
Ike
Josephine
Kyle
Laura
Marco
Nana
Omar
Paloma
Rene
Sally
Teddy
Vicky
Wilfred


~Vale~

Just One Hurricane

I am watching the news and I suddenly came up with a revelation of sorts. This revelation hinges on the fact that hurricane season is right around the corner and if the price of oil waxes and wanes on sabotage on a pipeline in Nigeria, a Fed cut in our key interests rate or the Euro spikes once again…what in the hell is the price of oil going to reach if a hurricane approaches the Gulf of Mexico. This does not bode well for the home team. We live in a speculative economy where the slightest inkling that a product or service could be reduced would send prices spiraling out of normal consumer range. If you don’t believe me say: Tickle Me Elmo, PlayStation 3, and Guitar Hero 3. Where Christmas shortages produced panic buying at 500 percent of the toys normal cost. So what does one do? Really, how do you survive when American food prices are climbing and it will soon, real soon, be too expensive to drive? Well, I have a solution and clicking the link in the title of this blog will give you details.
Yes, a hurricane will approach the Gulf of Mexico…hurricanes have always approached the gulf. But the price of fuel nationwide has never hinged on this fact as it does now. Well, the point to this blog entry is to prepare my readers. Now, while things are still cheap…I would, because I am, stocking up on fuel sensitive items such as, cooking oil, motor oil, charcoal (you have to cook), propane fuel and making use of empty space for canned goods in your home. Sounds like the Apocalypse huh? Well sort of but the point is to be prepared. I didn’t say get matching black track suits and wait for the mothership to pick you up. I was advising that milk is 4.00 a gallon, cooking oil is 3.00 a bottle and one major weather event will place them out of your reach. But hey look on the good side we will all lose some weight with all the walking, meal reductions and such.

~Vale~

Hurricane Dean

Since tropical depression number 4 has shed his number and evolved into a tropical storm Dean, it is safe to say he will further evolve into Hurricane Dean. The bathtub warm water of the Gulf will make this very possible. I try hard not to be the manic harbinger of doom, but after the tremendous devastation I’ve personally witnessed along the Gulf Coast I felt that a hurricane survival strategy should be made ready now and not when Hurricane Dean is making landfall. So here are some helpful tips:

1. Plan your escape route from the storm.

2. Keep a full tank of gas, a working spare, a usable jack, radiator fluid and motor oil.

3. Have waterproof tarps, duct tape and trash bags on the ready.

4. Find a cheap battery powered radio. Most local radio stations give updates as to storm direction, road closures, detours, as well as shelter information. Not bad for a cheap radio huh?

5. Have non-perishable foods and food that can be eaten cold i.e., Vienna Sausages, mixed vegetables, Spam, beef jerky, granola bars (caution granola will cause o ring blow-out if you don’t drink enough water), energy bars, as well as sweets.

6. Make sure you have 12 bottles of 16oz or 20oz of water per person for at least 3 days.

7. Hand sanitizer, spray disinfectant and baby wipes…lots and lots of baby wipes.

8. Protect your important documents, waterproof your picture albums, and back up all your computer files on discs.

9. Know that the call to evacuate is not a drill. Your promptness to react or lack thereof will be the difference between a cot in a shelter or a slab in the morgue.

10. Keep copies of your prescriptions, important addresses, personal identification and make sure you purchase a calling card (cell phone networks can be overloaded).



~Vale~

2007 Hurricane Preparedness

During the 2006 Hurricane season the Southeastern U.S held its breath as they watched storm after storm build and disintegrate causing minimal damage comparatively to the 2005 season. (You can see the entire season here on Wikipedia). It was during 2006 Hurricane Season that the people living along the Gulf Coast were the most prepared. Now that the Atlantic Hurricane season is upon us again I felt there are eleven essential tasks you should perform well in advance of being effected by a major storm passing through your area.

1. First things first get on the phone and call your local EMA director. You will need a list of storm shelters in your area. If your EMA Director is busy or seems like they don’t have the time, contact your local Red Cross they should have the listings of certified shelters in your area after all they are the ones that certify shelters in the first place.

2. Next make a copy of all your important documents, i.e. medical records, prescriptions, credit cards, driver’s license, insurance papers and then either MAIL them to a trusted family member or place them in a safe deposit box.

3. You should have a detailed waterproof map of your neighborhood, county and state. You should have at least 3 alternate evacuation routes before storm landfall and three alternate return routes after the storm passes. Now if you want to be really thorough, pen in all the gas stations, storm shelters, fire stations and hospitals on all three routes.

4. Everyone in your evacuating family should have a 3 day bag. This bag should be packed and set aside with only the essentials to evacuate such as: Change of clothes for three days, sanitary items, small hand held games, books, telephone calling card (because cell towers can topple in high wind and cell phones die) and prescription medications, (Hot curlers, Plasma televisions, electric cookware, desk top computers are not essential items as I saw during Katrina.)

5. Purchase a pallet of bottled water.

6. Invest in a generator, a heavy chain, and strong padlock. Now the exhaust from a generator will KILL (notice I said WILL) you and your entire family if used indoors. Make sure your generator is outside of the building while running. Now would be the time to figure out a way to chain it to the ground preventing the generator from being stolen. (Yes there are thieves after storms).

7. Purchase a large cooler with wheels to store large amounts of ice.

8. Invest in a battery operated weather radio(with spare batteries), flash lights (at least two), tea light candles, calumet light sticks, aluminum foil, synthetic rope, matches and for heavens sake Duct Tape at least 4 rolls. Don’t be fooled by purchasing these items through super rescue magazines or so called, “Experts” Your local dollar store has most of these supplies.

9. You should have a 10 gallon gas tank with a strong tight cap and a funnel. (During Hurricane Katrina people were burning themselves by not having a funnel trying to fill their cars and generators)

10. You should stock up on essential canned foods, and military styled meals ready to eat enough for at least three days. This way when you find out the storm is headed your way at least a three day head start on everyone else.

11. If your local EMA, Law Enforcement, Fire and EMS all scream in unison, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE"! DO IT! They possess information you aren’t privy to. Call them on it later if they were wrong. If you decide to stay and “ride out” the storm make sure you have written on a waterproof card in indelible ink your name, date of birth and social security number it. Place this card in your pocket so there will be no problem identifying your body if you become a storm casualty.

After years of rescuing people after horrendous storms and participating in the recovery I felt this was the best way to get the message out.


~Vale~

American Apocalypse

I went to a small coastal town on the west side of New Orleans yesterday. The 5 hour drive from Montgomery Alabama was awesome. I listened to NPR on different affiliate station as I maneuvered my way along the Gulf Coast from I-65 south to I-10 West crossing the Pearl River into Louisiana and then to I-12 West towards my destination. The roads were fairly clear and patrolled heavily by troopers. I only hit light congestion outside of Slidell. After finding my destination and completing my task (Ok, a job interview) I figured that a quick stop off in New Orleans for a couple of hot Beignets and a cup of coffee complete with chicory would be great. I would not get either.

I went on my honeymoon in the Big Easy in 1994. New Orleans was vibrant and multicultural with its French décor, wrought iron fences and people with their thick Cajun accents. The smell of boiled crawfish and Creole spice was everywhere. The sound of Jazz filled the humid autumn air as my new wife and I walked down Canal Street making a right on Bourbon Street. We were both transfixed by this wonderful city. There were sidewalk cafés with chalkboards filled with the day’s special in colorful chalk. Their alfresco tables were adorned with white linen tablecloths, silverware and napkins as waiters weaved their way between customers filling empty water glasses. I fell in love with this place called New Orleans. However I would only visit it one other time and that was yesterday.

On my way into New Orleans I couldn’t help notice street after street of boarded up buildings, destroyed homes, and my personal complete sense of loss. There were buildings with marks that showed where the water level was after the levees broke. There were large trucks hauling debris up and down the roadways. There was a military presence. Listening to the radio (between the conciliatory ads from Allstate Insurance Company and the numerous calls for volunteers for the recovery effort) I realized that New Orleans was now the murder capital of the U.S. That fact alone did not scare me. The fact that rats were everywhere did not scare me. The fact that this disastrous event that scattered a population of people, deluged a city by a Biblical flood and showed that we were not ready and could never be ready for something on the scale of Hurricane Katrina…scared me senseless. (There are no pictures that could actually show the complete destruction or recovery, be mindful this is almost two years later) Once I got my eyeful of sadness and with my belly growling I exited the city and headed back to Montgomery Alabama.

~Vale~

What's In A Name?

Somewhere in a freakish orbit travels an asteroid named Apophis. We are supposed to be able to see it by 2029 and in 2036 we might get a chance to meet Apophis up close and personal. Because this 1000 foot wide metal object may or may not slam into our precious blue planet. But as usual, Astronomers around the world are a little iffy on if impact will even occur. That is provided that the giant space rock does or doesn’t do gravitational wiggle, a sort of cosmic head fake. You can read the article yourself here. But my question is…who names these things?

I am sure Pretty Princess Power Rock would not be the most appropriate name for something that could destroy a city, or create a tsunami that could destroy a city. But then again, Bob is not an appropriate name either. I would like to meet the guy or gal who named this asteroid as ask, “Were the rest of the names taken?” What would be the harm in naming the metal rock BOOM, or how about Power Shot? Apophis, the evil black snake of Egyptian antiquity, a demon, the true personification of darkness and chaos is a little over the top. Geesh, someone has a flair for the melodramatic.

Speaking of names, here is a list of the 2007 Atlantic Hurricane Names. Now here is a list that should have a strong psychological impact. I believe the name of the hurricane should change according to the intensity and its ability to do damage. Take for example if there ever is a Hurricane Barry (heaven forbid) and it becomes a Category 5 (also heaven forbid) then the name should change to Hurricane BONE STRIPPER. Can’t you just see it now the Weather Channel reporting that Bone Stripper is taking a turn to the right? I feel this name would put the fear of Jesus in those who don’t want to evacuate. But if Barry barely makes it to Category 1 then the name should be changed to Hurricane Cutie Pie. (Don’t worry the power will be on in a couple of hours.) I know you may be laughing at this blog entry but I just happen to believe in having the appropriate name. Just like a 6’6” cage fighter, who has arms like steel cables and built like a tank. Only his name is Sue Ann. He isn’t funny but his name sure is.


~VALE~