Thursday, January 29, 2009

819 Billion Dollar Bailout

As a working (thank God) Paramedic I cannot understand why Republicans are having a complete hissy fit over the 819 Billion Dollar Bailout.The only thing I have heard thus far is why the Republicans oppose not what they would do to solve our financial mess. Oh yes,wait, the Republican plan: business tax cuts, no abortions and guns and God in public classrooms. Yada, yada, yada, we have heard it all before.But what if there are no businesses, no clinics to get abortions or rudimentary health care or no pawns shops because they have all shut their doors.

My America is in a crisis. I have no clue what America the Republicans are living in. My America is watching Moms and Dads loose their jobs every minute as business that were solid as a rock suddenly collapse. In what America do these Republicans reside? Oh yes, the America where homes are being foreclosed on and it is the homeowner to blame. The America where it is okay to be out of a job but not okay to take unemployment, food stamps, Medicaid or housing assistance. an Independent, Small Business Owner and provider for my family I think those Republicans are completely retarded. It stirs me to my very soul to hear that some fellow citizens are committing suicide, killing their children, going into deep depression or becoming homeless because they cannot find a job. The same citizens who wouldn't ask for a handout, generally vote Republican, and wants a chance to pay a bill any bill. The same citizens who will now vote Democrat than to starve like a homeless dog. I feel that those dissenting Republicans are comfortable as they occupy the responsible spending "high ground" when it was on their watch we got into this mess in the first place.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Easter Bunny Hates You

Wow! Two hilarious videos in the span of one week. Who knew? Enjoy.


Monday, January 19, 2009

Twenty Things That Don’t Make Sense!

Warning, the link in this title has graphic pictures, click at your own risk.


1.Over-the-top press about Caylee Anthony’s disappearance/murder but nothing about the rest of the children who became missing and/or were murdered around the same time.

2.The price of a barrel of oil sliding but the price of a gallon of gas increasing! WTF!

3.The rush to purchace firearms because of a new Democratic Government however you still have to register the same weapon you just purchased so the same Democratic Government knows where the weapons were sold. Retards.

4.Bernie Madoff and his house arrest.

5.American Idol...why, somebody please do something with this show.

6.Kellogg’s salmonella infused peanut butter. Somewhere Tony the Tiger is smoking a fatty and trying to figure this one out.

7.America’s Best Dance Crew. Like we have nothing better to do but watch children dance.

8.A child named Adolf Hitler. Parents clueless as to why Adolf was removed from their home along with Joyce Lynn Aryan Nation Campbell

9.Pencil Leg Jeans. Yuck!

10.Israel bombing the shit out of Gaza.

11.Israel’s cease-fire

12.Hamas telling Israel to eat a dirty Yarmulke as they continue firing homemade rockets.

13.Amy Winehouse, Amy Winehouse, Amy Winehouse!

14.North Korea threatening South Korea…again.

15.The Hi Phone

16.Falling out of your boat in a Piranha infested lake.

17.Russia turning off gas flow in the middle of winter.

18.Citi-Group falling from grace…twice

19.Refinancing your mortgage or even sending a payment when the company holding the lien…closes.

20.Sociopathic Paramedics.


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Flight of the Conchords

Yes, this video is silly as hell...but I like it anyway.


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

If I could have…

…one superpower it would be able to telekinetically induce explosive diarrhea to those in my mental range and through the television to those on the other side. And boy would that power be grand. Some guys want flight, steel bending biceps, x-ray vision, not me. I want something that strikes the fear in all of us…losing bowel control without warning. This could would be a very effective weapon, like the power of drinking liquefied rotten chicken and Ipecac mixed times 100; I wouldn’t charge people anything for me to use it either (for those that knew).

Drug dealers on your corner….whirl, whirl, whirl, cha, cha, cha, splat!

They would clear out in a moments notice. Every time they returned wouldn’t you know, the shitty sagging pants hath returned.

Some reporter on CNN bucking for the next primetime spot and you know they are just eye candy…whirl, whirl, whirl, cha, cha, cha, splat! CNN would have to clear the studio from the smell alone.

And my favorite getting pulled over by an overzealous police officer, whirl, whirl, whirl, cha, cha, cha, splat!! No ticket. As they tip-toe back to their cruiser butt cheeks clenched tight to reduce leakage.

I would be a sort of colon cleansing Robin Hood; someone takes your investment and fumbles the portfolio like Madoff…whirl, whirl, whirl, cha, cha, cha, splat! Until 50 billion dollars magically returns or he loses 51 pounds, whichever comes first. Someone wont give you a refund not a problem, where and how much? And I would take care of the rest. Oh, if only.