Carefree Diet

Today marks one full month since I began my vegetarian lifestyle. I refuse to call eating only nuts, fruits and vegetables a, “diet” per se, so the term, “lifestyle” will have to do. There are several things that I have learned during this month. For one avoiding meat also means items that are associated with meat(meat flavored vegetables included). Take for instance it is unnecessary to use honey mustard dipping sauce or Ranch if you are not eating chicken strips, Heinz 57 Steak Sauce does not taste good on rice and mayo takes on a porno-esque quality if you are not eating a ham sandwich. So by avoiding those meats I inadvertently eliminated a tremendous amount of sugar and fat. The word of importance is inadvertently.

During this month I have also realized that when one has a moment of meat weakness. One pays for it in the form of a bellyache and scalding flatulence that would kill a blind goat. That said flatulence will also wake you from your nightly slumber. I have realized that eating fruits and vegetables chock full of fiber my colon stays clean…believe me there is no way to stop the cleansing process. When it is time to go you are almost too late.

But seriously, I have lost close to 18 pounds and the strange thing is that the cellulites that used to surround my man legs have disappeared. I feel lighter because I have purged the dense animal muscle and fat from my colon. I have noticed my face isn’t as oily as it once was and that I don’t get hungry as fast. I have noticed that my clothes are getting bigger and my belly smaller. I continue to read everything looking for those dreaded words, “Animal Protein” or “Animal Fat” and I have more energy to exercise. As of tomorrow I am headed into my second month and will keep you posted of my success.


~Vale~

Week One

I started my vegetarian trek one week ago today and let me tell you I have never felt better. I am not eating pork, beef, seafood or poultry but the most amazing thing is I don’t miss them either. During this week I learned that fiber does things to your bowels that is embarrassing even when you are by yourself and is extremely cleansing during that special time of the morning...yay fiber. I have learned to look closely at food products before buying to make sure they don't contain animal proteins. I learned that fast food restaurants actually stink of cold fryer vat grease, rotting vegetables and spoiled meat and that I could buy McDonald's for my niece and nephews without as much as craving French fries. I also found out that you can make a vegetarian meal out of rice, beans (with out the perfunctory pork strip) and sautéed mushroom and be completely satisfied. And to top it all off I have lost 5 pounds…amazing. For those who would like to try eating this way to for one day here is a menu courtesy of The Apocalypse Papers.


Breakfast:

1 cup and half of bran cereal with half a cup of Soy Milk
I slice of whole wheat toast with teaspoon of peanut butter or jelly
1 Cup of coffee with non-dairy creamer and with/without artificial sweetener
1 Bottle of water

Lunch:

Two cups of green salad, with tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, banana peppers,
and olives (or fresh veggies of your choice)
(Trick: slice and season your tomatoes and cucumbers with salt, pepper and garlic powder before adding to salad)
One tablespoon of Catalina Dressing or Vinaigrette
Two shakes of Bacon Bits (The FAKE kind it will say no animal protein on the bottle)
One medium sized apple or piece of fresh fruit of choice.
Two bottles of water


Snack:

Half a cup of nut of choice or peanut butter sandwich or small serving of Pringles Potato Chips or trail mix


Dinner:

One cup of rice without butter
One cup and half of canned or frozen beans cooked and seasoned to taste.
(Try this: sauté mushrooms until tender in olive oil add Dales seasoning Dales is already salty so be careful) Toss in a couple of onions just for a special effect. Combine all the above items.

Two bottles of water





~Vale~

On Becoming Vegetarian

I have decided to try the Vegetarian lifestyle for one month. This decision is not a direct result of my compassion for tasty livestock. But it is due, in part, because of my health. Now I am the first one to light up a grille and throw thick steaks and succulent burgers onto the pyre of all things delicious. I admit it. But I figure if I wanted to lose a little weight and lower my cholesterol at the same time becoming a Vegetarian just might work. Ok, a month will not accomplish the above goals. But you really can tell if you are cut out for something in that amount of time.

Doing research for this blog entry my searches brought me to different Vegan websites. But what I was looking for were recipes for a meat/meat by-products free lifestyle. While surfing I found out that there are really some hardcore Vegans out there. Some of those people on those sites look as if they would hug a tree until they got splinters. I refuse to be that drastic. I don’t just want to eat fruit and lettuce like a rabbit at every meal either. And I don’t see myself drinking Wheat Grass juice and singing Kumbaya around a camp fire weeping loudly for Mother Earth. Hell No. All I want is a couple of do’s and don’ts for becoming a Vegetarian . It should be simple right?

While reading the Wikipedia entry on Vegetarianism I immediately became confused. There are different types of Vegetarians, imagine that. But it appears that a lot of the non-meat consumption can be broken into subsets and those subsets into further subsets. Some don’t eat meat. Some don’t eat berries. Some will eat only fish. Some will not wear silk or eat honey. These people are crazy. Some will strain their water to keep from drinking the water bugs. Some are making a political stand against the slaughter of delicious animals and their in humane treatment. What in the mother of all diets is going on? All I wanted is a simple answer to a simple question. Well I looked at this site and realized I had my work cut out for me.

Starting a Vegetarian diet is simple but there are meat land mines. Everywhere you turn there are animal proteins enhanced foods including those found in white cane sugar. I have decided however that I will stay away from all known animal proteins. Simply put if it can be bought in the meat section or knowingly contains meat or has dairy or eggs in it I will avoid it at all cost. I know this shot my plans for 4th of July out of the sky but I think it will be for the best. Just look for me I will be the one eating salad, fruit, and nuts at the nearest Bar Be Que.


~Vale~