Friday, July 04, 2008

Five INSANE News Stories

I deplore megalomaniacal rants by puritanical, self-righteous bigots who think they secrete strawberry-scented feces. I prefer criminally-dirty rants like Foamy the Squirrel, Hail Foamy. I want a rant that is scathing but succinct, factual and objective. So when I decided to write this rant-like entry I thought of all the news topics and blog entries that made me do a double take and go…What? And the entire week has been a roller coaster of “whats.”

5.Tweaker Goes on Murder Spree.

Eight people died as a result of this Meth-addicted mans rampage. They were as old as 93 and as young as a toddler. If you are a Meth-addict, “You SUCK.” And the cops were surprised because this was out of character for this waste of human space. He should be dressed in a mini-skirt and thrown in a cell with those who haven’t seen a woman in years so he can be humped to death.

4.Teen Looses Head over Hat

Six Flags over Georgia is an awesome place to work. I should know I worked there for four years. This amusement park strives to maintain a family atmosphere and beauty. There are safety classes, safety briefings, safety posters, safety drills and safety gear. There are safety inspections, safety personnel and safety stations. But there is one thing Six Flags over Georgia has invented or possesses and that is a spray to stop stupid. Every ride in the park clearly direct riders to secure all loose items. But, if you hop several fences, ignore every sign and subsequently get your head lopped clean off you deserve it.

3. Mugabe steals election

Imagine being able to do whatever you want to whoever you
want, any time day or night with total impunity. You have a country for a playground an army for muscle and all the money, gold and diamonds, you could imagine. However, if you lose the election the populace will seek revenge. You and your sympathizers will be summarily executed in the most violent and creative of ways. If you were Mugabe, would you allow this to happen….of course not.

2.Medical Helicopters Collide in Broad Daylight

I have been in my fair share of helicopters. I have experienced several mishaps and numerous near misses. But what I don’t understand is how two, 2, dos, helicopters could collide in broad daylight. Let me set this up. Medical helicopters are restricted from flying in less than ideal conditions, i.e. low cloud cover, fog, rain or a combination thereof. So someone had to be goofing off.

1.Skyrocketing Health Care Cost

Imagine that even with health care insurance many hospital procedures are still too expensive. Well…believe it or not this happens in America almost every day of almost every hour on the hour. It’s like this. The insured suffers an injury and needs treatment. After the crisis has passed and the patient is better, a hemorrhoid is cultivated by the greedy hands of the hospital and the dirty man-tool of the insurance company. Because the insurance plan only pays 60 to 80 percent of a previously agreed upon discounted price. The customer then has to pay the balance between what was billed and what was paid. This could mean thousands of dollars. Where is medical transparency when you need it?


No comments: