Monday, March 31, 2008

Five Ways to Avoid a Horrible Death

If you think this is a blog about immortality you are completely crazy because there is a 1:1 chance that you are going to die. This blog is a Paramedic’s take on how not to get killed or extend your chances of surviving to a ripe old age…so you can die peacefully there.

1. Perform a Risk Assessment.

In the EMS industry we have known for years that people are stupid. This sheer stupidity is how we keep our jobs. If it wasn’t for the weekend mechanic that looses all the fingers on their right hand because of a little thing called a fan or scalds the skin off of their chest because of pressurized superheated radiator fluid, all EMT’s would be working at Wendy’s. Knowing what you limitations are reduces the chances you would be swatted unmercifully by the same limitations.

2. Guns will kill you too.

I love the NRA guys. They understand the term, “Population Control.” This does not mean that gun owners all across this nation will weed out the bad guys. This means that some gun owners will weed themselves out. If you own a firearm that you have never fired and keep in a locked compartment most likely this weapon is more of a threat to you than the criminal it’s supposed to stop. Learn you weapon or die by it.

3. Assume nothing about anyone

I love this one. Not all Black men are thugs, not all Mexicans are members of MS-13 and not all White guys are Serial killers. I have worked in high crime areas and low crime areas and the one thing that I have learned that Serial Killers are sometimes Black, White guys can be thugs and Mexicans can be Police officers. Type casting based on a stereotype will get you killed really quickly.

4. Ghetto is a place not a mentality.

The word Ghetto is Italian word meant to describe the concentration of Jewish people within an area. It has since become a word to describe a concentration of ethnic people. This means that a gated community of WASP could be a WASP Ghetto. Placing the Ghetto tag on a neighborhood causes preconceived ideas to form thus increasing your likelihood of offending the wrong person.

5. Don’t wear a pork chop around your neck.

News flash, predators know exactly what their prey looks like. The key however is not to look tasty. Plot your course, don’t stop in strange areas, survey the parking area before you exit any store and put the damn cell phone down.


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