Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Learning when to run is far better than knowing how to run. And running, no make that sprinting, is exactly what I did before SS Emergystat Ambulance sank like a lead brick. Emergystat got into financial trouble with the IRS, GE Capital and Mississippi’s Department of Revenue and after the dust cleared Emergystat had shut its entire ambulance operations down in less than 12 hours. Not a cut back, or a scale down but a complete and total shutdown of a mission critical resource. A resource that provided much needed emergency healthcare for hundreds of townships and employed of at least a thousand employees. There were rubber paychecks, deceit from their managers and falsehood after falsehood. The owner has gone into hiding and now Emergystat Ambulance is a distant bitter memory.

Have you ever noticed when a Democrat or Republican wins a state’s caucus there is a picture of them grinning like they won one hundred million dollars in the Mega-Lotto. The job for President pays 400,000 dollars with a 50,000 expense account and most of these candidates are millionaires already. So tell me, why the grin? Surely they must know they are soliciting for the job of balancing on a greased beach ball, while receiving daily intel-reports on moving nukes and starving countries. To add to this they must appear calm and collected as they appear at press conferences while touting the party line. Being elected the President of the United States is not a job you take lightly. Not to say I want a President who grimaces as if they were passing a kidney stone in every picture. But I do want a President who is polished, humbled, and articulate with a convincingly pleasant fa├žade. It’s ok if they walk around frowning in the Oval Office. I think having the entire weight of the free world resting on your shoulders is a frown worthy event.

As a Paramedic I know there are crazy people out there. There is no other way to call someone who throws all four of their children off of a bridge. Crazy describes people who kill their girlfriends and boil body parts before calling the police. Crazy describes the people who decapitate, mutilate, abduct and cremate other people. Crazy people stalk hiking trails and dig shallow graves for pregnant women. Once the public stops having a love affair with crazy people then we can use the word “Crazy” again. Instead of mentally challenged and the word biphobicphreniadepressive. We can finally hear the words on the news, “A crazy person is on the loose.”

The New England Patriots have had a winning season, post season and are headed to the Superbowl to play the New York Giants. This game will live in infamy as sponsors showcase their new multimillion dollar ads as party goers become insanely inebriated on cheap beer and even cheaper liquor. There will be a glorious halftime show with all the glitz and glamour of a Vegas nightclub. There will be canny candor bounced between the various sports broadcasters and a rehashing of the plays from has-been gridiron heroes and arthritic quarterbacks alike. There will be whoops and hollers from fans whose team have won with groans and winces from fans whose team has lost and when the festivities are all over with, Monday will come as usual.

I don’t know about you but if I had wagered and lost Seven BILLION Dollars of a financial institution’s money I would get plastic surgery and go into hiding with Osama, because I am sure my employer has a really good Hitman on retainer. Really what do you say to your boss, “Sorry I miscounted,” or “Hey I had a bad day?” I would love to be in that meeting room.

Steve Jobs has done it again by raising the bar. The MacBook Air only weighs 3 pounds. The Air does not come with an optical drive or all the bells and whistles of a normal laptop and it is less than an inch thick. How’s that for technology.


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