Thursday, July 05, 2007

Domestic Violence Shelters for Men

While serving in communities across Alabama for over 20 years I have responded to numerous domestic violence calls. For each call I have answered I become more and more appalled at the level of control (mental and monetary) the abuser has over their victim. However, in my opinion, the domestic violence law of Alabama, in is too broad and needs revision. The law allows for the smallest of visible physical evidence to be used solely as a catalyst for arrest. This is not fair to the husband who has grabbed his spouse, to prevent her from stabbing him to death, thus leaving physical marks, resulting in him being arrested. I have seen it and the police officers, who have a tough job anyway, generally dismiss his claim based on a lack of evidence i.e. penetrating stab wounds to the husband’s person or his cold corpus delicti. This might come as a shock to my female readers everywhere but believe it or not the man is not always the abuser.

Personal compliance with Alabama’s Domestic Violence Law is mandatory as it should be However if you are found actively violating the law when the police arrive you can find yourself arguing with the business end of a police officers black can of mace or his Taser. But having treated patients second to domestic violence I realize that not all patients are female and not all females go to jail when they are the abusers. But to espouse upon my revelation in the previous sentence would take a 6 part miniseries. That is something I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. However when the man is at the receiving end of spousal abuse where does he go?

When men have reached the end of their marriages or are forced out of their marriages they are thought of as being tough enough to handle it. Emotions are something true guys don’t have a great command over. The key word is true. Believe me surprise divorce papers have killed plenty of husbands, with depression, alcohol and drug abuse killing more than that, and cheeseburgers ,meat lovers pizza’s and 20 year old girlfriends taking out the rest. But who do the steel workers, meat eaters, hunters, soldiers, fathers, husbands and protectors turn too when they need some time reassess their position besides jail? I am one of those men who have thought of that previous question and frankly I am appalled that the society who all too often emasculates men for being men has no way to save the dying breed of real men.

I have an idea. I personally vote for that creepy looking mansion, surrounded by Texas thorn bushes, nestled deep in the bowels of a dark forest. This place would be well equipped with man stuff like a shooting gallery, smoking rooms, furniture made out rough logs, a well stocked free bar, bathrooms with urinals and toilet seats that are welded down and oh yes I almost forgot a brass stripper pole right in the middle of the building. (Hey it’s my idea I can put what I want in it.) Therapy sessions would consist of tackle football, impromptu boxing matches and road trips to Vegas. And when it all said and done the man can go back to living his life happily knowing there are better things than a bad relationship.