Saturday, October 28, 2006

Southerners

Living and working in the south I come across all walks of life. There are things that just tickle the death out of me and there are things that just get my goat. For instance the two clichés that you just read were uniquely southern. As a southern born man I use them in my daily life, but as a writer those clichés creep in like kudzu on speed. I constantly find my self having to edit and re-edit so I don’t confuse my readers. But somehow I don’t edit enough, but that is another story.

Having traveled the world I have found that once you are raised in one of the southern territories you belong to a haloed club of sorts. Let me explain. You are driving down at night and see yellow pair of eyes on the side of the road; would you know what they were? When you are in a restaurant do you ask for “Sweet Tea” or “Iced Tea”? What do you eat with purple hulled peas? How many horns are on a cow? Auburn or Alabama? Are you getting my point? I don’t care where I have gone on this planet a simple, “WARRRRRRR EAGLEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!” has found me friends even if they were lowly Alabama fans[ I couldn’t resist].

I laugh out loud at anyone who complains about grits and the fact that they are gritty. It automatically tells me they are not from the south. I take a personal offence if someone insults a biscuit or turns their noses up at milk gravy. These two items have fed many a poor southerner for years. They don’t have to eat them, but they sure as heck ought to respect them. After all Southerners never joke about a Yankee Pot Roast or a slice of pizza, honestly who just buys one slice of pizza. I frown when people complain about the heat or the mosquitoes and it just bites my butt when they talk about the humidity. And last but not least, we might not know the name of our roads but if you know your left from your right we can get you there. Ya’ll take care…ya hear!


~Vale~

3 comments:

Sheila said...

I love Southerners and clichés. In fact, my unofficial name is "Queen of Clichés" but I guess that's a whole 'nuther story.

We are fortunate to be members of this "select" club. But I am puzzled as to what the yellow eyes are? Possum, armadillo, skunk, raccoon?

And with my purple hulled peas, I eat sliced tomatoes, Vidalia onions, yellow squash and cornbread (when I'm not eating South Beach style).

Lady said...

With Purple Hull peas you know it is okra. Pan fried cornbread, and fried chicken. It is Sweet Tea and if not that then it is a cold drink, may be a grape soda.

Anonymous said...

I personally like when someone says that it is too slow in the South. Obiviously, they never heard the phrase don't "When in Rome do as the Romans do". Besides, alot of outsiders think they can swindle Southern people. When in fact, they are being swindled by someone playing possum or "Country Dumb". Oops I let the secret out. ha ha ha DEH