12 Things Paramedics Know

If you want to know what the quality of life means ask someone who has a couple of months to live. They will give you an unabashed and guilt-free answer to what it means to be alive. Because with every breath they take they have one less to give. EMS is composed of people with that quality of life mentality. Paramedics and EMT’s are professionals who have a stark look at life. Because there is nothing more eye opening than seeing some one who is tip-top shape, perfect physique, low cholesterol and awesome blood pressure get killed by a bus filled with fat people and their greasy fast food bags. So here are the ten things Paramedics know, but won’t tell you willingly.

12. Life is more precious than you can ever imagine.

11. The quality of life is inherently more important that the quantity of life.

10. Darwin was right, natural selection does work. Because the addict that abuses Meth, Cocaine or Oxycotin eventually exits the gene pool with a startled expression on their faces.

9. Dead people sometimes have startled expressions on their faces.

8. There is a 1:1 chance that you will die, period.

7. Our elderly citizens are our greatest resources.

6. Marijuana smokers started as cigarette smokers first.

5. Properly fitted seatbelts save lives, airbags work and will sometimes break your nose but neither matter if you are thrown out of the car.

4. Respite for the caretaker is just as important as taking care of a loved one.

3. Addicted crack smokers will qualify for disability faster than the person who has worked all their lives and really needs it.

2. The bottom graduating medical student in a graduating class is still called, “Doctor.”

1. Not all hospitals are created equal.

~Vale~

Support Your Local Paramedic

I always say, being pissed off is better than being pissed on. And boy, am I pissed off. I hate sounding whiney and I really don’t like to complain. Because I have a solemn belief that if you are comfortable with misery you are destined to make it to the top (that aforementioned belief made me manager at 6 different ambulance services and Vice-President at a seventh.) But something has to be said about the Paramedic exodus that is taking place right under the noses of the general public. This exodus places the public at an extreme risk because who is going to arrive at your home when you have your first heart attack.


I don’t like talking about my job as a Paramedic (capital P). I respect the ability of the 911 caller to remain stupid forever and ever amen. I have seen my fair share of tragedy, pain, suffering, and the evilness of humans to kill their children and set the house on fire to cover the crime. My walkabout through this invigorating and personality consuming job has stratified my soul and sharpened my temperament. My career at one time reinforced a belief that God did not exist and that the Devil was on a road trip, high on Columbian white-flake, smashing and grabbing souls across this great land. But my point of view has changed for the better.


However I digress, the reason I am pissed off is that the major responsibility of reducing morbidity and mortality, under extreme duress and insane hours are heaped upon the EMT and no one, and I do mean no one, cares…hence my pissy-tude. I have survived 20 years in the field, one divorce, one major job-induced surgery, and a war. And the most ambulance services will only pay me, is a measly 12.00 dollars per hour. 10 million dollars worth of experience…12.00 dollars per hour, nationally recognized EMS instructor…12.00 dollars per hour, 14 years of EMS management…12.00 dollars an hour. Now, if you think for a hot-second, that I am working for 12.00 an hour you’re completely insane. But this is what the new Medics are facing. 1980’s wages for a comparable job that pays 28.00-30.00 dollars in a hospital, in a controlled atmosphere, with security roaming the halls all wrapped in comfy scrub pants. New medics are jumping the fence to nursing in droves. And the ones that haven’t will shortly.


So how is the shortage of Paramedics going to affect you? There are less people caught in the vapors of a fast ambulance, the wail of a siren and the thrill of possibly saving a life. Simply put, EMS is imploding. The emergency response walls are falling in all over this country; there are manpower shortages, leakages to nursing, and people who aren’t stupid enough to fall for the “you’ll be a hero” spiel. That means longer response times for you, the under trained will arrive at your door (because most EMS programs will hand feed those who wouldn’t other wise make it) and very poor service. Yes, Paramedics would rather go home at night and make a decent wage instead of getting punished over and over again, thus the good Medics are making the leap to nursing and you dear reader are left with the bad ones.

~Vale~

May 2nd AMR Paramedic Strike Ends…Amicably

This article appears in the online version of the Daily News Los Angeles. It was reported on May 1 2008 by Jerry Berrios, Staff Writer.

The strike involving nearly 300 paramedics and emergency medical technicians in the Antelope, Santa Clarita and San Gabriel valleys has ended.
AMR, a private ambulance company that contracts with Los Angeles County, and the International Association of EMTs and Paramedics came to a tentative labor agreement Wednesday night.
"The strike is over," said AMR spokesman Jason Sorrick. "Our employees are coming back to work. We are moving forward, and we will continue to provide the best emergency service to the citizens we serve."
According to AMR, the agreement calls for employees' wages to increase by 20 percent over the next four years, retroactive to November 2007. The company also will not make any changes to employee health-care benefits through December.
"I believe that the contract is fair and equitable," said Matthew Levy, national director of the IAEP.
Levy said the contract addresses most of the workers' concerns. Instead of the 6 percent annual raise workers wanted, they are getting 5 percent. Instead of having AMR the company paying 80 percent of health-care costs, it AMR is paying 75 percent of the premium employee health-care plan.
"It was worthwhile as we got some of the concessions we wanted," Levy said.
The workers went on strike at 8 a.m. Monday. Pickets gathered at the AMR stations in Lancaster and Irwindale. AMR brought in employees from other areas of California, Oregon and Missouri to operate ambulances.
The majority of the employees returned to work Thursday and the remainder will come back to work today.
County officials monitored the strike through conference calls with AMR management and others, e-mail with firefighters and verifying ambulance worker credentials at area hospitals.
"We are very pleased that the work action is over," said Cathy Chidester, acting director of L.A. County's Emergency Medical Services Agency. "We think it was handled well by all affected parties."
It goes to show what Paramedics can do when they wiggle in a collective fashion. Good job guys from The Apocalypse Papers!
~Vale~

Here's My Cape

After 20 years of service on an Ambulance I have finally decided that enough was enough. There was no fanfare when I made that decision; there were no tears, just unmitigated disgust. The sole basis for this disgust is that I should have done it sooner. I am only angry at myself. I truly love health care and the awesome people you meet along the way. It is just that EMS is an industry that has not evolved far enough to keep from loosing its people. Simply put, EMS eats it young.

I love to hear people say, “you are doing a wonderful job” in my opinion it equates out to the same as, “I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.” Let’s face it, EMS is the combination of three careers, Fire, Nursing and Funeral service. To this day we still perform all three duties by working 24 hours like Firefighters, giving medications like Nurses and recovering body parts like Morticians. But we all paid way less hourly than any of those three. However the demand for Paramedics today is so high in Alabama that street level Paramedics are making upwards of 60,000 dollars or more a year. (The reason being that there are more people leaving the field than there are graduating.) WAIT, before you quit your job and head to EMS school there are some things I should let you in on:

1. 24 hours without proper sleep can lead to Ambulance crashes.
2. 100 hours of overtime in two weeks means you have no life.
3. Divorce is mandatory.
4. What holidays?
5. People who wreck their cars sometimes have HIV.
6. Apathy is your sidekick.
7. Nightmares are free of charge.
8. Bad knees and lower back strains are also free
9. Other Allied medical personnel couldn’t do your job but they
make more than you.
10. There are no bag pipes when you die and there is no benevolent
fund either.

My career has not been all that bad I have met a lot of people, saintly as well as demonic. I have seen what the power of community can do, as well as what happens when no one cares. I have held the hand of the dying and joked with the depressed. I have felt the pain of loss by losing fellow Medics to heart attacks and strokes. (As well as overdoses and gunshot wounds to the head.) Believe me this is not the ranting of a clinically burned out medic… because there is no such diagnosis. I will leave the lights and sirens to the few Paramedics exiting school as I study to be a nurse. Why a nurse you ask? Because hospitals don’t flip on wet roads, blow tires or force you to go to blows with a homicidal patient.

~VALE~